She's got a ticket to ride

So yesterday I got the boys ice cream cones at McD on Horizon. As I contemplated the best route to Saguaro park from there (Equestrian? Magic?) I chose the lesser-traveled Magic for its straight shot. I followed a truck for a while, thinking distractedly about the rest of the day when the dreaded flashing red and blue lights appeared in my rear-view mirror.

The boys said, "Hooray! A police man, Mama!"

And I said, "Oh crap," which I never say.


***

"Ma'am, I need to see your driver's license, registration, and insurance," he said.

I fumbled around for a second, and produced everything, including an insurance card valid through last month.

"Hmmmm, this expired a while ago," he tsk-tsked.

I wanted to say, "Yeah, the card but not the insurance," but I thought better of it.

***

While he processed my information, I felt whiny and defiant. What about the truck I was following? Hello, if he'd been going 15 in the school zone, *I'd* be going 15 in the school zone. I didn't even know there was a school zone there. And see all those other people NOT going 15 mph? Yeah, I hope you get those people, too.

Harrison asked, "Mom, are you going to jail? Will you get locked in a cage?"

***

At the park I called Bryce. "I was hoping he might just let me off," I said, looking for sympathy.

"Let you off? Why? Because you're cute?"

"No, because I had two ice-cream-holding kids in the back seat," I whimpered.

"Rebecca, that's the reason you got a ticket. To keep law-breaking people like you off the road."

Ouch.

***

Later I picked Mary up from school. "Mom, I heard you tell dad that you got a ticket. Is that true?"

"Yes, it is," I said.

"So basically . . . you're a criminal?"

"No, I made a mistake and I'm going to make up for it now," I replied. "I didn't see the school zone sign and I got pulled over."

"How did you not see the sign? I mean, isn't it RIGHT THERE? I can see that stop sign way down there, and you couldn't see the school zone sign right in front of you?"

"I didn't notice it, and got a ticket for going 10 mph over the speed limit. And I'm going to pay my fine and it'll be okay," I explained.

"I just don't see how you could be SPEEDING in a school zone, because--"

"MARY!!!! Zip it."

***

At Mutual that night, I passed Tyce's friend Gonzalo in the hall. I thought he looked particularly friendly towards me, perhaps because he had a nice time playing at our house that one day.

He stopped me and said, "Hey, I saw you today."

"You did?" I asked, brightly.

"Yeah, I saw you get pulled over today after school!"

Oh Gonzalo, why must you broadcast my shame?