Me: Turn to 1 Kings, chapter 3 in your Bibles. David and Bathsheba had a son, Solomon. You remember from last week who Bathsheba was, right?
Class Member 1: Yes, David was immoral with her.
Class Member 2: He was a creeper who looked at her bathing.
Class Member 1: He wasn't a creeper, he was a peeper.
Class Member 3: Bathsheba . . . BATH-Sheba . . . do you think that's where we get the word "bath" from?
Me: Um, Doubtful.
Class Member 4: Doubtful? Sister Jones, why do you always use such big words?
Me: Class, if you could ask Heavenly Father for one thing, what would it be? Solomon asked for an "understanding heart".
Class Member 5: New Kobe VIIs!
Class Member 6: A million dollars. No! To win the Powerball! Do you know how much money was on that thing? Like $400 million dollars . . . after taxes it was still like $92 million.
Me: Hmmm. Shoes and money won't help you in the next life.
Class Member 6: Yeah, but if I had all that money . . . man, you'd never see me again.
Class Member 8: Have you ever given a pigeon Alka Seltzer? I want to see one blow up.
Me: Eww, no. But I have heard of that happening with rice. That's why you can't throw rice at weddings anymore.
Class Member 8: I already know that. You know what they throw at weddings now?
Me: Yes, they--
Class Member 8: Cooked rice.