I don't like to dwell on the negative but I have to say that church this weekend was terrible.
I know the meeting was good because I could kind of hear it but I didn't get much out of it.
Mary refused to come because instead of actually getting ready to go, she decided to color in her room. And then when it came down to the wire and we were loading ourselves into the car, she insisted that she HAD to eat breakfast and do her hair. So I know it sounds mean but we left her--but not to punish her. She has done this before and I know it is a control issue but it really does make me angry.
So we didn't start off on the best foot.
Then Harrison pushed his boundaries with Bryce, like he does every weekend, even going so far as to make a huge mess in the living room. Bryce said calmly, "Okay, clean it up." And Harrison asked, "Did you notice I poured water on the rug?" He wanted to make sure his hard work had not gone unnoticed.
At church he was no different; kicking the chair, exiting the row and wandering. They made it about 5 minutes before going to time-out in a classroom, and then eventually home when things didn't get better. So that left me with two.
Cameron is still the loudest child in church--even in stake conference. He sat on Tyce's lap, and Tyce kept biting his ear. Cam liked it and said, "Do it harder," but as loud as you can imagine without yelling. I told Tyce to stop but he developed selective deafness and couldn't hear me. Finally he bit Cam's ear too hard and the whole chapel heard, "OW."
During the congregational hymn Cameron stood on a chair between Tyce and me, and "sang" along, which was funny and cute. But when he noticed that Tyce and I were giggling he sang even louder . . . which was not funny or cute. After we'd successfuly shushed him, the song was over. Everyone sat down and Cameron said," That guy in front of us is BALD. Well, at least to me he is."
I wanted to die. What do I say to that? "He's not bald . . . okay, you're right. He is."
Tyce took Cameron on a much-needed walk. Alone and uninterrupted, I listened to two really great speakers.
When the boys came back Cam said, "Tyce let me jump off a stack of chairs onto a table!"
I gave Tyce my raised eyebrow, and he mimed that "Wha? I don't know what he's talking about," sign.
Then there was more ear-biting.
And I took Cameron out myself. But he yelled, "I want Tyce! I want to jump off the chairs!"
After a drink at the water fountain and a stroll around the building, he wanted to sit on the stage. So I let him sit on the edge. But he wanted to move farther this way, and back that way, and stand up, and go down the stairs. But I said, over and over, "You can sit right here with your arms folded or get down." Finally he got frustrated and shouted, "Why do we always have to follow your rules?"
Luckily, by then it was time for the closing hymn.
And Cameron wanted to do headstands during the closing prayer.
Someone reached over and patted my arm. "This too shall pass," she said.
It was one of the longest 2-hour meetings of my life.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Kids at Stake Conference
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Monday, February 8, 2010
Life is a Party
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Friday, February 5, 2010
Joy in the Journey
I love this.
Sometimes my life is thrilling: family vacations! romantic get-aways! Season premiers of LOST! I am in love with my fabulous husband, my children are talented and well-behaved, and I am on top of the world!
Sometimes my life is boring: laundry . . . dishes . . . scrubbing. Again. And bossing kids around. Again. Looking in the mirror and deciding if my hair is passable, or if I have to actually take a shower. Again.
But if I've learned anything from Relief Society it's that the joy is in the journey.
I have to find the beauty in the mundane, in order to appreciate the glorious in the spectacular.
The more I look for the good, the more I see.
The more I listen for the good, the more I hear.
The joy is in the journey. The bumpy, rocky, sometimes-boring, but sometimes-thrilling journey.
And I am enjoying the ride.
******
This is the teary post-script.
I want to tell you how much I love my family and friends. My parents--I love you for everything you have do and continue to do for me. My parents-in-law--you are wonderful and accept me as your own. My sisters-in-law Kim, Heather, Betsie, and Brooklyn--you are my sisters and I love you so much. David, my brother--you are so special to me and I love you more than you know. My brothers-in-law Nate and Andy--you will always be part of the family. My grandma, aunt and uncle, and cousins Chris and Jenn--I wish we were geographically closer because I love you. My nieces Cambria, Maya, Evangeline, Kess, and Kira--you are beautiful and fill my life with happiness. My nephew Ben--you are Tyce's special buddy and I love that you two have each other.
My friends, near and far, old and new, young and not-so-young--you are what keeps me grounded as a person. With you I can laugh, cry, and be myself. Thank you.
And to my husband and children--well, there's just too much to say. I will sum it up with those three little words, but know that they are packed with meaning: Give me cheesecake.
Just kidding.
I LOVE YOU.
Forever.
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Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Our Story of Adoption--Part 6
Forgot where we left off? Read Part 5 here.
***
We immediately showed Tyce our small stash of toys.
"You like balls? Here's a red one. Good throw! Okay, you're done . . . How about blocks? Can you stack these? Boom! You're the human wrecking ball. Again? No? I'll bet you're a good colorer . . . let's try these crayons."
In only 15 minutes, we'd exhausted all our resources.
And the novelty of his new environment had worn off.
And he cried.
He ran from room to room, looking for something--anything--familiar, getting more and more upset. His cries broke our hearts, and we looked at each other.
"What do we do?" I asked.
"What have we done?" Bryce asked.
No two parents--temporary or not--ever felt more inadequate. But this was no time for second-guessing our abilities. Tonight we were his mom and dad--and we needed to act like it.
Bryce picked Tyce up. "Hey little buddy, it's okay. I know you miss what you're used to. It must be confusing to see that everything is different. But you're going to be okay. Shhhh, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay . . . "
As Tyce calmed down, Bryce and I began to believe it, too. Grateful for the schedule his houseparents had prepared, we got him into pajamas, gave him a snack, and lay him in his crib. We sang songs. We had made it through one night. We were okay.
I went to work that Monday, but Bryce had winter break from school. He and Tyce spent their time at the park, at Astros games, and with my parents (Mopsie and Grandpa). His first Christmas with us was only 8 days after his arrival. It was overwhelming; back then I hadn't adopted the "three presents" mindset. The poor boy nearly drowned in gifts--dozens and dozens of new toys, clothes, and books. He was lovingly showered from every angle: his Casa friends; his new grandparents, aunts and uncles; and us, his new parents. But he got bored of opening them all and went to sit in a giant box. I think none of us will ever forget the sight of that little toddler wearing a Santa hat, sitting in his cardboard cave.
As foster parents we tried to be loving without getting too attached. If you had known little Tyce, you would know that was nearly impossible to do.
Bryce and I went to many trainings and seminars. We learned about emotional issues and legal issues. We learned everything we could in order to help us be good parents to our little guy.
As foster placements often go, his short-term stay turned into a long-term stay. On the one hand I hoped for reunification, because I would never vote against the triumph of the human spirit. I knew that his birth family loved him, despite their problems. I knew it. It was heart-wrenching for me to want something for them and for myself at the same time. I also felt that he was meant to be part of OUR family, and we hoped Tyce could be ours forever.
In November 1999, that day did come.
He was adopted. Adopted after almost 2 years in our home. Adopted and finally sharing our last name--though he'd been a Jones in our hearts for a very long time.
In September 2000, he was sealed to us, in what our friend Teresa aptly called a "spiritual adoption", in the Houston temple. Because the temple was brand new, Tyce had the honor of being the first child sealed to his parents by adoption. When an ordinance worker, an older gentleman, put out his hand to shake Tyce's, Tyce slapped him the biggest high-five that sealing room had ever seen.
But not to make our story sound so simple, we also had baby Mary then. And Pablo. And Joseph. And Juwan.
And life running a group foster home was more than crazy.
But by the grace of God, we were okay.
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Monday, February 1, 2010
When You Don't Pay Attention
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Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday Confessional
* I confess that I got this idea from Emmy Mom. (Thanks, Emily!)
* When it comes to blogging, I don't care if I have any followers or if anyone even reads it besides my family . . . but I get a secret thrill when I find out that other people do. And if you comment . . . oh boy, that makes my day. Unless you are creepy or a spammer.
* But if you're a friend, or a friend-of-a-friend, or someone who likes what I like, then we're cool.
* It bother's me when people put apostrophe's at the ends of plural word's. This is only ONE of my many grammar pet peeve's but it's probably one of the most common, and I try to overlook it, but I'm human and it's hard, and it's a good thing run-on sentance's aren't YOUR pet peeve or you'd have stopped reading this by now, but that's not really a confession because I've told you all this before.
* I have cut my own hair and then lied to my stylist about it.
* When I don't feel like separating lights from darks, I throw everything in the wash on cold.
* I set the clock in my car 10 minutes fast, so that when I'm running behind I can take comfort in knowing it's not as late as it looks.
* I shower every-other-day to save water. But also because I don't want to do my hair.
* I say I don't like popular music, but I could listen to "Halo" by Beyonce for hours.
* Once we invited a new couple in our ward to dinner. They gave us their Amway presentation. I was really cheesed off that what I thought would be a nice time making friends turned into getting (almost!) roped into a pyramid scheme.
* When I'm flipping the channels on TV, I'll stop on a sitcom or whatever just to take in their home decor.
* Judging from my banged up / scribbled on walls and furniture, I think my children are more destructive than most.
* Sometimes I beat people up in my dreams. I'd like to say I use wicked ninja moves, but it looks more like nerdy girl fighting.
* I don't care if my kids fold their laundry or not.
* I DO care if the silverware is put precisely the right way in the drawer.
* My secret for confident public speaking is to talk loud. It seems that people think I must know what I'm talking about if I'm shouting.
* I have "carrot toes," meaning, they look like baby carrots.
* When I'm bored I have been known to dial 1-800 and then seven random numbers so see what different companies' welcome messages sound like.
* Are you like me? Then you'll love this. Call the Nestle Crunch Hotline at 1-800-295-0051 (This may take several attempts if the line is busy). When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait quietly for about 10 seconds and you will smile. Promise! Keep going and press 4. Then tell me about it and we'll laugh.
* Being funny is a full-time job.
* That's why I'm unemployed.
* Ba dum BUM!
* But seriously folks.
* That's all for today.
* (And have a great weekend.)
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Visit from the Tooth Fairy
Earlier this month Cameron lost his first tooth! He'd complained that it hurt, and since he'd just been to the dentist I wasn't worried about anything sinister. But I sure was surprised to discover for myself that he had two wiggly bottom teeth!
He wiggled and pulled until it came out at church. The next week the second tooth came out, also at church. Their poor Primary teacher! I'm sure it was hard to keep the kids focused, what with body parts falling out in the classroom.
(Kim, thank you for being so good to my boys! They love you!)
The Tooth Fairy was tardy in her tooth-collecting / money-depositing duties. The first tooth got lost before it could even make it under the pillow! Cameron shrugged and went on with the week, which made the Tooth Fairy feel even sorrier for the lad.
You know how long it took the TF to get to the second tooth, which was safely tucked under the pillow in a baggie? FIVE DAYS! The weather! The traffic! It's hard for a little sprite to travel in such conditions. I'm sure it had nothing to do with forgetting. But when she finally did arrive she left more money than she--or in this case, HE--should have, much to Cameron's delight.
Sometimes guilt and generosity are two sides of the same coin.
At least, that's what the Tooth Fairy told me.
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Sunday, January 24, 2010
Spaghetti Tacos
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
10 Things on my Mind
1. I started a private blog, a regular "cry-my-eyes-out, muse-on-deep-thoughts, dish-on-people-who-bug-me" journal. But I'm too emotionally tired to write anything. Besides, whenever I read my hand-written journals from years-past I cringe, so I'm actually doing my future self a favor.
So in case you were wondering, I didn't say anything bad about you. (Not that I would. For real!)
2. The piano tuner is coming in 30 minutes. He confessed to me that he does this job, and not music teaching, for the money. Don't you love when people tell you things like that? I feel like the chump who's paying his gasoline bill for the month.
And his name is Lenny. Can I really trust someone named Lenny? Is his piano bag named Squiggy?
(hahahaha)
3. It's raining, it's pouring, cleaning the house is boring . . . but I do it. Heck yes, I do, and it sparkles. Come over quick before entropy takes over.
4. I went to the public library to leisure read. Let me say, that is NOT the same environment as hanging out with a book at Barnes and Noble. You know who spends all day at the library? People who don't smell great, that's who. That was an uncomfortable experience, reading 1984 with Big Brother (aka the old man sitting across from me) watching.
5. I played with homemade play dough for over an hour today with the twins. I tried to sculpt roses, like they do for cakes, and I do not have the hang of it yet. So I reverted to my usual tacos, lollipops, and pizza creations, which were a hit with C & H.
If I can't be the Ace of Cakes, maybe I'll at least bond with my oldest child by becoming the Bass of Cakes. You want one? No treble.
Holla!
6. Speaking of food, I made some oatmeal-raisin cookies entirely from my food storage. Holy deliciousness. The only modification I made was to use half raisins and half broken Cadbury chocolate bar. (So of course they were awesome--hello, candy.) But it did come out of my food storage, just so you know. I highly recommend this recipe.
7. Speaking of food again, I am thinking of becoming a bread baker, especially if I can convince myself to get a stand mixer. I totally think I could do it and even LIKE it. And like every other stay-at-home mom, what else do I have to do all day but eat oatmeal cookies, watch Wife Swap, and compulsively update my facebook status? I'm ready for more.
8. I can't wait for LOST to start. But I don't want it to start because then it will be over. And then life just won't ever be the same.
9. I love my family like Scott Brown loves the state of Massachussetts.
10. That's all for now. I have to put the twins to sleep. I mean, to bed. I have lost my momentum, but not my mind.
xoxo
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Brown Bears!
One afternoon Tyce stayed after school for a band practice and had some time to kill before the late bus came. So he decided to watch the basketball team practice in the gym. While he was there, Coach Washington said he needed someone responsible and reliable to be the team's manager, and asked Tyce if he would do it.
He jumped at the chance!
It doesn't hurt that Tyce is a sports fan and relishes practicing with the team, even though his duties are to film the games and make sure the guys are watered up.
This weekend there was a pre-season tournament, and the Brown Bears swept it all. I was seriously impressed with the talent. Here's Tyce in action!
I am really proud of Tyce for all of his hard work and dedication to the team!
And on a related note, I think the secret of making it through life is to keep yourself too busy to get into trouble.
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Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Mary's 10th Birthday
Man, will I ever catch up? This is another one I'm backdating. Haha.
January 5th is Miss Mary's special day, and now she is 10!
Mary Rachel Kimberly Jones,
She is made of muscle and bones.
Sing, my darling. Sing my darling!
Today we shall eat ice cream cones.
Before school she posed with her little brothers.
One of MY greatest gifts is the beautiful, intelligent, creative, passionate, caring daughter I've been privileged to raise for the last 10 years.
I love you, Scary Mary!
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Saturday, January 16, 2010
My Dinner Party
I have the most creative friends. This idea came from Denalee and was also done by Ashley, who have inspired me to follow in their footsteps.
If I could invite anyone, TV or book character or celebrity to dinner, my top 10 invitees would be . . .
1. Paula Deen--to teach me how to cook like she does.
2. Jillian Michaels--to kick my butt after eating Paula Deen's food.
3. e. e. cummings--to whistle far and wee. And write the place cards scrolly-wonderful.
4. Silas Marner, the title character from the book by George Eliot--to weave a table cloth for the occasion. Such a gentle, misunderstood soul could benefit from company.
5. Dumbledore--to make cryptic, wise observations during the awkward silences.
6. Mr. Humphries from "Are You Being Served?"--to inject a high dose of FABULOUS into the night, and to stage an dinner-guest fashion show / musical number!
7. Hyacinth Bucket (Boo-kay) from "Keeping Up Appearances"--just to get an invite for one of HER candlelight suppers with riparian entertainment.
8. Alicia Keys--to sing and play the piano at the same time. No one's ever draped themselves over my baby grand like that.
9. Napoleon Dynamite--to appreciate that "tots" would be on the menu, GOSH.
10. Hurley from LOST--Dude. Do I have to explain this one? To bring us all back to the island!
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Double Decker Bus and the Bellagio
Have I mentioned that we give the children three gifts for Christmas? One is "gold", something they really want; one is "frankincense", something that is practical; and one is "myrrh", something that is enriching or educational.
For the last year Cameron has been fascinated with the double decker buses he sees going down Boulder Highway. He mistakenly called them "don daked" buses and I miss that! For their "myrrh" gift, we thought it would be fun to actually ride on a bus. So Bryce ordered a Hot Wheels double decker bus for each of them to open, and the promise that the next day we'd ride downtown.
So we did.
This was our very bus! We started at Fremont Street and went down to the Bellagio.
We were very lucky to get seats on the top level on our first try.
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Monday, January 11, 2010
Christmas Day
I'm the blogging equivalent of your neighbor with the Christmas lights still lit every night at 6:00. You're pretty sick of anything twinkling red-and-green, but what are you going to do, knock on the door and hand them the memo that January is here?
Are you wondering why I still have a Christmas background? You are? I knew it. The site I like to get templates from is down. I want to move on, believe me. I may be stuck with this cute little owl until Easter, but dang it, I am not budging.
So this is also my admission that I'm still posting Christmas pictures. And the fact that I'm going back later and re-dating these posts for December either makes me a cheater or a genius.
For your viewing pleasure (or ennui):
May I present to you OUR CHRISTMAS MORNING FUN FEST AND JUBILATION!!!!!
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Thursday, January 7, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
This is out of order but I wanted to share Mary's long-term goals with you.
One year: get good grades
Three years: do good in Young Womans
Five years: Stay boy free even tho im going to be so close to 16
********
P.S. Today is my dad's birthday!!!!
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Christmas Eve Devotional
After dinner we gather in the living room for the best part of the night, the lesson by candlelight. This is a tradition that Bryce started a few years ago and we all love it. There's something magical about the gentle glow of a candle flame that seems to allow us to focus more intently on the true meaning of Christmas.
This year's theme was the coming forth of the Book of Mormon. When Jesus lived on earth, the light of the Gospel burned bright. After His death came the Apostasy, where the world was in darkness.
Each child blew out his candle.
Many years later, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith and initiated the restoration of the fulness of the gospel. We listened to a reading of Joseph's own account and testimony, which was very powerful.
Mary lit Tyce's candle, and Tyce lit Harrison's, until all four candles were shining bright again.
Through the gospel of Jesus Christ comes light, life, and salvation.
And each child got a poster to hang in their room, like this.
(This is Samuel the Lamanite, which is the one Mary chose.)
After that the kids got on their pajamas and opened their special Christmas Eve books. This is also Bryce's area.
Grandpa Al read "Jabberwocky" to the boys, which was Harrison's book.
Tyce received a box-set of Orson Scott Card's books; Mary received a box-set of Shannon Hale's books (from Grandma Judy and Grandpa Al). Cam got a poem book. Those little guys love their poems!
The kids were also supposed to get special Christmas Eve pajamas . . . but I lost them. Lost them to my disorganized closet, where they were swallowed up in the jumble of clothes and books and fossilized Halloween candy, only to be found on January 2nd.
But the kids happily marched off to bed, books in hand, to read until they fell asleep.
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Christmas Eve Dinner
I took pictures of the food! Our feast this year included turkey, potatoes, stuffing, rolls, cranberry sauce, onion souffle (made by Heather--yum), and a triple chocolate cake.
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Monday, December 28, 2009
And how are you?
I haven't even uploaded pictures yet. But guess what....I got a new camera! A replacement, really, since someone threw my old one and broke it.
Observation: the most beautiful color in the culinary world is the cranberry.
Observation: kids would be happy with stocking gifts and one present.
Observation: the movie "Elf" is on a lot during December.
And one more . . .
I will blog when I have more time. But for now, suffice it to say that Christmas was lovely.
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday Touch up
Almost here. I think I'm ready. It's nice to have Bryce's sister Heather visit, as well as Grandpa Al. If the kids can hold themselves together it will be a Christmas miracle.
Tyce had an thought-provoking conversation starter. He asked, "Was Jesus black or white?" I said, "He probably looked a lot like the people on that movie we saw ("The Nativity Story"); Middle Eastern. Unless Mary was very fair-skinned . . . "
And then I thought, you and I are all made up of two parents' genes but Jesus had Mary's genetics and . . . God's?
What are His physical characteristics? Skin color? Hair? And does He have all the dominant and recessive traits for those like we do?
Or does Jesus look just like God, bypassing Mary' genetic contribution?
Interesting question, eh?
Anyway.
I only have a moment today. I'm taking Tyce to the dentist in a few, and then taking the kids a couple at a time to shop for each other.
Oh, and BYU won the bowl game last night against Oregon State. Some of us went, some of us stayed, but all now raise our colors high in the blue to cheer the Cougars of BYU.
(Rah rah, rahrahrah...Rah rah rahrahrah....Goooooooooo Cougars!)
That was for Bryce.
I love him. He is the best. And probably the team's biggest fan.
And now I'm off.
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