Saturday, October 4, 2008

Emotional

Thank you, Elder Oaks, for telling telling the world that bringing a cell phone to church is evil. (Isn't that what he said? That's what I heard.)

I'm super emotional today. It's partly a lack of sleep, partly missing my family, partly feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a good mother. I love my kids SO MUCH and sometimes I see so clearly their intrinsic goodness coupled with my inadequacy.

I found a school journal entry from Mary. It said, "I want to go to Africa to visit my family." And then she drew a picture of herself saying, "Dad! It's me Mary!" Through a sea of stick figures one shouts, "Mary!"

She made herself so vulnerable in that moment, and I felt that I'd seen into her very precious, wounded soul. How I ache for her, physically ACHE for her loss and her hope.

I can't help but cry to the Lord, Please lift up and strenghthen these little ones, who love their first parents and long to know who they really are. Make me an instrument in Thy hands, as I try to raise these four children of God.

On Children
by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

6 comments:

Aranne and Dan said...

I almost don't know what to say to that... except that you are such a strength and example to us. You are a wonderful mom and I know that you love all your kids so much. Hang in there and just let them know you love them and that is all you can do besides be there for them!!!

C.A.L.L.L.L. said...

That is a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing that. Elder Oaks also said don't wear flip-flops to Sacrament meeting. Didn't he? That's what I heard.

Mopsie said...

What a beautiful poem. And you are a beautiful, wonderful Mom. If your kids can say they know, really KNOW, that you love them unconditionally, then you've done most of what you need to do. If they can feel truly loved, and know that you will continue to love them no matter what they may do or say, then they have a firm foundation for their self-esteem. If they feel a part of a group (the family, church class, etc) then they won't need to look to friends/gangs for support. And YOU are providing all this for them. Be assured, you are wonderful and they are lucky to have you. And so am I!

brooklyn said...

beautiful sentiments. you are a fabulous mother.

Tracey said...

Not only are you a wonderful mother, but a wonderful person.
Thanks for the tears, Mary is an amazing little girl, so mature for her age.

Rebecca and Co. said...

Thank you, thank you for your kind words. I think all of you are wonderful and I'm so glad to have you all in my life.