This and that

I "lost" my potato peeler right before Thanksgiving, only to rediscover it in someone's dresser drawer. Of course no one could possibly figure out how it got there.

Here is my latest super-frustration. I went to fetch a Bic from the "pen" drawer and the whole drawer is missing.

(The whole drawer! Hello, who takes an entire drawer? And where in the name of Lulu the Elf is it now??? No one knows.)

Okay, enough complaining.

Here's what's been going on around here.

Bryce and Tyce went on a Scout campout this weekend. Apparently Tyce used his Scout-made slingshot and flung a rock right into his dad's windshield. Their 5 mile hike turned out to be much longer, but at the end they surveyed the entire Las Vegas valley and it was pretty spectacular.

What else. My brother David's birthday was on the 8th. He is, for a few months, just one year younger than I am. He is awesome and I hope he has a fun time celebrating his wonderful self this weekend. In a city full of possibilities, what will he do?

Happy Birthday, brother!

In other news, Cameron and Harrison will start preschool this January. It's only half-day, so we'll still have plenty of time to play with friends.

Cameron

Harrison

As different as the two of them are, they're both excited to go so school like their big sister and brother. Do I need to mention that this arrangement benefits a certain person who is anxiously plotting how to use her new free time?

(Me.)

Tonight we're practicing a dance for YW to perform at the ward Christmas party this Friday. It's to "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" and it is a ton of fun. (I am so glad not to be in charge of the Christmas party!) After Mutual I have a mega presidency meeting to get ready for the new year. Did you know that a new value was added to the Young Women theme? The value is VIRTUE and the color associated with it is gold.

This Thursday the RS is having a progressive dinner and one of the stops is my house. I am really looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. You know me.

I took an online traffic course to reduce my speeding ticket to a parking ticket. It was a "four hour" class and I completed it in less than one. There I go, speeding again.

Ba-dum bum.

That's about all for now. The boys are riding scooters in the driveway and we're about to eat lunch and run errands.

THE ANSWER

You may have guessed that this "Does Santa wrap the presents" was a hot topic at work amongst Bryce, Betsy, and Donna last week. There was some debate, some discord, and some consensus. Bryce called me and asked my opinion. The way I came up with THE ANSWER is this. I went to the Big Guy's own website. I typed in santa.com and said: whatever it shows is the way it is.

And as you can see, the gifts are wrapped, with the exception of the live animals. (Please, no one point out that this appears to be a mail bag and not a toy sack.)

As per this official picture, DO NOT wrap a dog or a penguin, no matter what your family's tradition has been in the past. This scene clearly shows the animals need to be free to romp in the presents, or even hand out gifts to others. Plus, it makes for a cute photo on Christmas morning to have a giant mouse peeking out from behind the pile of loot!

Let me tell you how we do it around here. Santa brings one especially desired present for each child, like a bike, or whatever tops the child's list. (Bryce bought Cam a HOT DOG MAKER this year because he said he really wanted one. Good thing he didn't want a machete, eh?)

Anyway. The stocking gifts are also from Santa, and there is usually some good small stuff in there. Candy, little games, maybe a CD, jewelry if you're a girl, markers, etc.

And I have usually asked Santa to wrap his gifts because I want the moment to last longer, but within reason. For example, a CD: wrapped. A bag of candy: unwrapped. Necklace: wrapped. Stuffed animal: unwrapped. I figure if each person takes a turn unwrapping their stuff I can get better pictures AND it will seem like they got more things if it takes 10 minutes versus 10 seconds to open it all. But perhaps Santa will go green this year and all the pressies will be naked.

So that's the low down on Santa at the Jones house.

I certainly enjoyed reading how other people do it, and I think that THE REAL ANSWER is this: however you do it in your family is the right way, as long as you stay away from boxing up living critters.

A woe and a question

I've been trying to move the family towards a more vegetarian diet. Why? Two reasons:

1. Heart health
2. The Word of Wisdom

I have made entirely delicious curry lentils, stir-fried tofu and vegetables, eggs, vegetable soups, black beans, navy beans, egg rolls, and fish. Unfortunately, my efforts have been met with resistance from the older two kids. A typical dinner time might go like this.

Mary: Eww, what's this?

Me: It's quinoa with salmon and broccoli.

Mary: Can I make myself a peanut butter sandwich?

Me: No, you can eat this with the rest of the family.

Mary: Mommmmm, I can't! This smells disgusting!

Me: Just try it. It's really good.

Mary: I can't! I'll just starve! And you'll feel bad that you tortured me to death with this meal.

Me: Hmmm, I don't think so. Listen, the salmon is crying, "Mary, please take a bite of me! I'm delicious! You're hurting my feelings!"

It hasn't really worked yet.

As for the other kids, Tyce never whines or complains--after the requisite 5 minutes he just puts his plate in the sink. The twins are picky on the best of days, so the vegetarian fare isn't any more rejected than non-vegetarian. (Two out of four of our kids actually do like fish. But four out of four reject lentils.)

I will say that my kids have a voracious appetite for all fruits and most raw vegeatables, which is why we are on a first-name basis with the produce manager at the grocery store.

I've heard it takes 21 (?) times to introduce a food to a child before they'll accept it, but I'm still frustrated because it is good, normal food that normal people like to eat. I know because I've asked Bryce, just to make sure someone else finds my offerings palatable. I am usually affirmed. He even gave a thumbs-up to the tofu stir fry. Tofu!

No one complains when I bake, and I'm not even that great of a baker. If it has sugar and butter in it, all the kids flock around me with praises and hugs. But these are the same kids who like Pop Tarts, so you know they're not too hard to please.

Well anyway, that's my woe for the day.

Now onto my next topic, the pressing question of the day.

Pressing Question of the Day: Does Santa deliver gifts wrapped or unwrapped?

What do you think? How does it work at your house? Is there a right answer?

P.S. I know.

And so does Donna.

My letter to St. Nick

Dear Santa,

I'd like to strike a deal with you. See this block? It's mine. That's right, it's a writer's block. And I'm tired of it! I don't know where I got it or why it won't leave me alone, but if you take it . . . well, let's just say there might be a pack of HoHos for your trouble.

Hope to see you soon. How do you get it all done? I only have a few people to shop for and I feel like drowing my sorrows in a carton of egg nog.

Sincerely,

Me

For all you single ladies out there

Acrostic in the key of G (Gratitude)

Turkey was delicious.
Homemade crescent rolls by Bryce and Tyce were a labor of love.
Ads in the newspaper were not as amazing as promised.
Nice dishes and table settings were Mary's project and her pride and joy.
Kids liked watching the movie "The Abyss."
Stormy weather, rain, thunder, lightning were a treat!
Going around the table, we each said what we were thankful for.
I enjoyed walking with the twins and Bryce around the neighborhood.
Venturing into unknown culinary terrain, I made homemade cranberry sauce.
I know Bryce and I loved talking to our families on the phone.
"Nothing ruins a holiday better than people trying to do everything perfect." --Mary Rachel Jones (Has she been reading my blog?)
Games were played until everyone was tired and ready for bed.

It's a Monday

We're having the house cleaners come and the carpets cleaned today in preparation for Thanksgiving. You know I don't live a life of glamour if I thought this was worth mentioning.

I am thankful for a calm start to the week. My awesome father-in-law Al went in for an emergency angioplasty on Friday and scared us all to death. But he was out the very next day and cheering for BYU at home. (It didn't do any good. There was a lot of crying over here.) We have full confidence that he will return to normal soon, but unfortunately for us, not in time to travel for Thanksgiving. But thank goodness he's going to be okay.

I'd rather forego a holiday gathering and preserve his health than have him risk a prolonged recovery by traveling.

Now I'm off to take M. to school and figure out how to spend 10 hours out of the house today.

My house may be a mess, but take a look at this pantry!

If you come visit me, please disregard the piano music, random toys, and various clothing items strewn around the front rooms. Move directly into the kitchen, where you should ignore the sink full of dishes and unswept floor. Make a hard right, and open the pantry door.

My eagle-eyed sister-in-law Kim noticed I took "CanSolidator" off of my sidebar wishlist. Behold the organization!

Another hurdle cleared

It was not a good start to the day. As I paid for 8 giant cans of corn at the grocery store, Harrison and Cameron walked out the automatic doors. They stood on the other side, watching the door open and close, and actually had the nerve--THE NERVE--to stick their tongues out at me. (Harrison was the ring leader.) You have never seen anybody pay up as fast as I did.

They were big-time busted. In the car I lectured them, and I took away Harrison's tangerine until we got home. Cameron mocked me by saying, "Good thing I already ate my tangerine. Haha!" Luckily I know how to push Cameron's buttons back, because I said, "Well next time you can't pick out a fruit." Then there were cries of "No! I'm sorry! Next time I'll be good! Please!"

Which is all I wanted in the first place.

***

Preparations and set up for the youth-and-senior citizens dinner for Mutual were stressful. I won't lie. I wanted to bail out, I wanted to call in sick, I wanted to run away to Jamaica. And then I was like, what's the big deal? It's all under control. (Well mostly, what I could actually control.) I guess my main anxiety came from whether people would have a good time, if the youth and older folks would actually mingle, if we had enough food, if we'd carried out the "tradition" none of us leaders had ever experienced.

I sound like the poster child for Xanax.

But guess what . . . it was great. We didn't run out of food. It looked like people enjoyed themselves. I was particularly impressed with Kayla, who spearheaded a baby picture guessing game, and Ceara, who did a fine job conducting (though she did get heckled for accidently calling the seniors "elderly.") I got to sit at a table with some very nice people, and enjoyed good food (turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, cranberry sauce, rolls, and pumpkin pie) and good conversation.

I think that an annual youth and seniors dinner is an awesome idea. I would highly recommend the activity to other groups. And after all that cooking we did, I would also recommend catering.

What I lost in sleep I gained in perspective: Hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 14 this year will be a breeze.

A happy ending

I felt grumbly on Saturday. Grrr.

In the afternoon I ran an errand, alone. While getting my car washed I walked over to Vons to check out their turkeys for our Thanksgiving activity this Wednesday. It felt great to walk that UGH feeling out. Then I bought 3 frozen pizzas for the family's dinner. When I walked back to the car wash the guy was there waving his towel. I'd arrived at the exact moment he finished up my car. Perfect timing!!!!

Then I went to pick up medication at the Walgreens drive-thru. I was the only one there. Score!

I think the sun was shining on me.

Don't you just love when things work out just right?

Blessings of Adoption

Tomorrow is National Adoption Day. In honor of this occasion I thought I'd share with you a few of my thoughts and feelings on the subject.

I believe adoption is a miracle. Think of the allegory of the grafting of tame and wild branches in the olive tree--the Master of the Vineyard, in his wisdom, took two entities that needed the benefit from the other--and he made them one.

And how beautiful was the tree because of it.

I love my life. I love how my children came into my life. I love our family tree. I love the Master of the Vineyard for binding our family eternally.

And that is the deepest joy of my heart.

***

Now on to a more practical note.

There have been many times I've said something, trying to be supportive or insightful, when I've offended someone instead.

(Like the time in high school when a classmate told me she was half Native American and I exclaimed, "Oh, you're a half-breed!" I had no idea that was a racially charged thing to say.)
Anyway, I'm not one to easily take offense but I do recognize insensitivity when I hear it, usually letting it roll off my back. Maybe you're the same way. However, if I could enlighten you a bit on what to say to an adoptive family, perhaps I could help you save yourself from an uncomfortable situation. Here are some things people have actually said to me, or to someone I know.
"Your children are so lucky you rescued them from a horrible life."
I feel that they rescued me as much a I did them.
"I heard this story where the couple had their baby for 5 months and then the state pulled him out of the home and returned him to the crack-smoking grandma . . ."
Sensational horror stories don't make up the majority of adoption stories, but they get the attention and can scare people away.
"You had your children the easy way."
Physical pain: yes. Mental anguish: right up there.
"How much did your kids cost?"
Ummm . . . I didn't pick them up at Macy's Baby Sale.
"Were their parents on drugs?"
I understand your curiosity, but you just can't ask that. I don't want you to pre-judge our kids based on that information, good or bad. We love and respect our birth parents because they gave our children life.
"I had no idea your daughter's hair was so long."
I'll admit that this is picky, but what I feel like you're saying is, her hair is so different and strange and unlike the "normal" hair you see every day.
"Blacks are responsible for bad schools, crime, teen pregnancy, global warming . . . oh, but not your kids."
Racist remarks offend me. I said I wasn't easily offended but this is the thing the bothers me the most. Don't assume it's okay to say it but exclude my kids from the stereotype. Not cool.
"There was a Mulatto guy on my soccer team."
The term is mixed race or bi-racial, please.
"You should need a license to reproduce in this country."
Again, a picky one I've probably said myself. But what it implies is an US against THEM mentality, a superiority that relegates birth parents to the underbelly of society. This is absolutely false. Birth parents have a myriad of circumstances--from lovingly placing their babies in the arms of a forever family, or yes, to having their 8th crisis pregnancy end a whirlwind of social workers and foster homes--or something in between. The point is, they gave their children life. That life is not a mistake; he or she is a child of God with an important work to do on this earth.
We don't live in a perfect world and wishing won't make it so. It's what we do about it that makes the difference.
"What do you know about their REAL parents?"
Does anyone really say this? I don't think so, but I'm including this anyway. REAL parents raise you. Birth parents give you life. All are important.
"Aww, that's so cute that she calls you 'Mom.'"
An old lady said this in all sincerity! Yeah, it's cute because I AM her mom!
"I know just how you feel. I adopted my Fifi from the pound."
For the love of Christmas, do not compare my child to your Yorkie Poo.
"Just watch, as soon as you adopt this next one, you'll get pregnant."
Probably the most common and annoying of all, for two reasons. First, no I don't think I'll get pregnant, and thanks for reminding me . And second, it implies that adoption is a second choice. For us, that's not the case at all.
Okay, now the do's.
Throw the prospective adoptive mother a baby shower!
She is about to become a mother too, with all the anxiety, nervousness, anticipation, and enthusiasm any parent feels at her baby's arrival. Thank you, Tracey, for throwing mine over 3 years ago!
Treat adopted kids like you would any other kids.
Easy to do.
Use the term "birth parents."
Of course not "real" parents, as mentioned above. Biological parents is acceptable. Natural parents is really outdated. The last time I heard that phrase was on an episode of "Family Ties" where Skippy reunites with his "natural mother."
Celebrate the family's adoption day and sealing day!
These are the "birthdays" of the family. We loved that people supported and loved us through the challenging and amazing times.
Respect the family's privacy.
If you're open and have a listening ear, the adoptive family will probably open up to you. A lot. But don't be intrusive.
Accept the child for who he or she is, knowing there might be more than meets the eye.
While adoption is wonderful, it still means the child experiences pain from a significant loss. Pain can look like aggression or depression and be expressed or internalized, or come out in other ways. Their challenges may be difficult for you (and me) to understand but they're doing the best they can.
Talk about adoption in a positive manner.
It's not shameful and it's not a secret. Many families have open, loving relationships with their child's birth parent(s). If you know someone struggling with infertility or a crisis pregnancy, you can offer a positive opinion on adoption.
Tell them they have a beautiful family / beautiful, smart children.
It's okay to acknowledge it. We think so too. And we love flattery as much as the next person!
Smile.
You can make the difference in someone's day!!!

And now I'm stepping off my soap box and into my minivan to cart Miss M. off to school.

Weekend Wrap Up

We had a great time in Utah this weekend. I really needed a change of scenery, and even though we had two terrorists in the car ("Open my window! Turn off the music!") it was still a good trip. We even got to see our sweet nieces (ages 6 and 2) and Betsie's new beautiful house. Family is the best.

Today is a catch-up day--unpacking, laundry, straightening, grocery shopping (already done), and all that other fun stuff. And the phone calls--holy hannah, I have work to do. I don't know why anyone would actually run to be president of anything.

(President-elect Obama, call me. Once you get your feet under you, I will be your shoulder to cry on.)

Guess what I brought into the courtroom

I had my court appearance for my traffic ticket this week. At the entrance I put my bag on the security belt. When I walked through the metal detector, the buzzer went off. The guard looked at my shoes and declared, "You've got a metal buckle on your fancy slippers."

FANCY SLIPPERS!! I will never look at those flats the same way again.

Anyway, I walked up to the courtroom, sat down, and searched for the cheat sheet Bryce made me. I'm pretty sure it said things like Plead Not Guilty, Call Him Your Honor, Compliment His Robe. But I couldn't be sure, because I couldn't find that little paper in my giant bag. But guess what I did find. A wool sock stuffed with not one, not two, but THREE super-sharp PARING KNIVES, left over from our Mutual pumpkin-carving activity the week before.

Take note. Metal on your footwear: red flag. Three deadly weapons that could stab, maim, or kill at any time: no problem!

Knives, people.

Well, I neatly wrapped my little secret back up and stopped looking for the paper. I didn't want anyone to get, you know, suspicious. All that digging around might have meant I was trying to cover something, or maybe I was just foraging for graham cracker crumbs--but you just can't be too careful.

Finally it was my turn. I told the judge he looked very handsome. I think he was impressed by my shoes. I pleaded Not Guilty and we parted ways.

A bored-looking city attorney with a pack of Marlboros in his shirt pocket met me in the hallway. I turned on my sad-but-charming face, which I have used before. I explained, boo hoo, that I hadn't had a ticket for over 10 years, I didn't mean to ignore the sign, etc. He looked like he wanted to say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Not Guilty. Seriously, I went to law school for THIS?" but he said, "I can reduce your ticket by $100 and send you to traffic school. Here, take this paperwork and go pay at the window. I need a smoke."

Oh, I can work it when I need to.

Yes, I can.

One down

I am a runner on the track of November, and I just jumped over my first hurdle.

The program Young Women in Excellence was last night, and I must say, after all the anxiety and stress leading up to it, it was . . . excellent.

The girls displayed projects they've worked on in one of the seven values: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, and Integrity. There were items such as volleyballs, scrapbooks, handicrafts, reports on service, and art projects. We have awesome young women.

As far as the program goes, a highlight for me was the skit that my very talented friend Tomica wrote. The script was great--set at school, one girl laments that she'll never see her grandmother again, and the other girls explain the Plan of Salvation and invite her to church. It was funny, touching, and the acting by the girls was awesome!

I knew, knew, knew that the whole program would be fine, which helped me get through the day. I am getting SO much better about letting things go--the little details that I can get so hung up on. I printed the program--no clipart, no colored fonts. It took me 30 minutes. We put the tablecloths out--they weren't exactly even and weren't in value color "order" but I let it go. Only four out of the seven flags had all their parts, but the four we had looked great. Our special musical number was less-rehearsed than I would have liked, but it turned out fine.

Breathing in, breathing out . . . letting go.

I truly love the Young Women. I am so blessed to have this calling. I love the ladies I serve with, and the awesome young people of the church.

My next hurdle is planning the Thanksgiving dinner for the youth and the elderly in the ward. I have no idea what I'm doing or how to do this, and I'm wondering how this fell into my lap. But I'm taking a deep breath and . . . sprinting onward.

Hello, Mr. President

What did you think of tonight's election results? My support and prayers are behind our future 44th president. Feeling patriotic and hopeful, we watched Barack Obama's acceptance speech tonight. I thought he did a great job.

Mary: So if Obama is the next president, where did the old president go?

Me: Well, he doesn't start until January. That gives the old president--George W. Bush--time to finish up and the upcoming president--that's Barack Obama--time to get ready. I mean, he couldn't really start this very second, right?

Mary: Yeah, that makes sense. He wouldn't even know where his desk was!

Me: Right, and he has to move all of his stuff into the White House.

Mary: Move in? Does the White House have bathrooms?

Me: Yes, and living rooms, bedrooms, a kitchen . . .

Mary: Oooh, I hope I grow up to marry the president of the United States--or become president myself. That would be awesome! Well, actually, I wouldn't want to be the president because I wouldn't want people coming into my house and complaining at me all the time.

Me: That's why it takes a special person to do the job.

Mary: I hope his children aren't troublesome. That would be terrible if they terrorized the White House!

Me: Would you terrorize the White House if you were there?

Mary: I would try not to, but probably, yeah.

Overheard

On the road with a van full of youth, on the way to a choir practice

#1: Hey [#2], I noticed I didn't see your sister at church today. Is she okay?

#2: Yeah, she went with our mom and dad to their classes today.

#1: Really? Was she upset with somebody?

#2: Yeah, she and of of the young women got in a fight before chuch and they both got grounded.

Tyce: (eyes her suspiciously) Did she get in a fight with YOU, by chance?

#2: Ye--I mean, I am not in justice to discuss this matter.

Tyce: I think you mean, you are not "at liberty" to discuss this matter.

#2: Whatever.

***


At night, telling the boys a bedtime story

Harrison: Make sure you tell it where we're knights and we get cupcakes at the end.

Me: Okay. Once there were two brave knights who went trick-or-treating. They went to the first spooky house and said, "Trick or treat!" and they both got two candies each. Then they went to the next house . . ."

Harrison: Don't forget the cupcakes!

Me: I won't, don't worry.

Cameron: I have contraband.

Me: What?

Cameron: Contraband. I'm going to play this straw in the contraband. Hoo hoo!

Me: Okay . . .

Cameron: Mom, why aren't you telling the story? Get it away.

Me: What?

Cameron: (grandly gestures) Get it away, Mom!

I finally figured out that was this is his attempt to say "Take it away."

***

Watching the Noggin show "Miss Spider" with the twins; Miss Spider adopted several different types of bugs and in this episode, one of them wants her mom to show her the tree where she was born.

Me: Harrison, you were adopted too!

Harrison: Like that little beetle?

Me: That's right.

Harrison: What tree did you find me under?

Halloween Report

These were their costumes. It was a spooktacular night.

Tyce was the very dashing and presidential Barack Obama. He went to a surprise birthday / Halloween party for his friend Skye and had a blast.


Here's where it gets fuzzy. Literally. My camera has been dropped so many times that the flash no longer works. But I hope you can tell that the twins were knights; black (Cam) and silver (Hare).


Mary was a sorceress and she had this pretty hat to go with her dress....which she refused to wear. ("It looks too princess-y!" she complained. Hmmmm....yes.)


We even went to our next door neighbor's house for a little get-together.

Our "other" neighbors were in their element. I saw one of them (the one I call Billy Hill), in a long black tunic with a ciggie hanging from his lips, putting out still more decorations, including the the giant green skull. And I have to say, all his hard work paid off. I was scared.

Halloween Haiku

THE STATE OF THE CHILDREN, by Me

Dreaming of candy
Dressed up, fidgeting, waiting
Hoping for nightfall.

WHO I AM

I am level-headed and open-hearted.
I know I am a daughter of God.
I want whirled peas.
I think a lot of truth is spoken in jest.
I dislike when kids wake up before me.
I miss living in Texas.
I feel good when I use my talents.
I hear children playing in the backyard.
I smell spicy salsa in the kitchen.
I crave lemon bars.
I cry a lot more than I used to.
I usually do things by the book.
I search the Internet for recipes and long lost friends.
I wonder how my children will turn out.
I regret the times I have put off a child's request to read a story.
I love teasing Bryce.
I care too much what others think.
I always plan good birthday parties.
I worry about my home's declining value.
I am not a door slammer.
I remember my dog Maggie.
I never ever swear.
I believe that that I am doing my best.
I dance a lot better in my mind than in real life.
I sing in ward choir.
I don't always meet my own expectations.
I argue politely or back down.
I write to express my feelings and keep my sanity.
I win at word games.
I lose at puzzle or strategy games.
I wish all children could grow up in happy, stable homes.
I listen to the TV news on my kitchen radio.
I don't understand why power is so important to people.
I usually can be found at the computer or in the kitchen.
I am scared of tight spaces.
I forget how hard life used to be.
I am happy when I cross everything off my list.

Spooky tidings

Monday at Family Home Evening the kids created three jack-o-lanterns (the boys) and one jill-o-lantern (the girl) and let me just say . . . pumpkin guts are deliciously squishy.


Each person showed off his/her creation. (The twins had help, obviously. But if given the chance they'd love to wield a knife.) I like the eyes on Tyce's.


Lighting up a dark the dark and scary night!


Happy Almost Halloween!