Sock Monkeys

Cameron has his beloved sock monkey, Bob, and a small sock monkey named Steve. Harrison had no interest in these creatures until Cam got his, and our friend Michele was nice enough to give Harrison a small one (a match for Steve!) on a visit to her house. He named him Steve as well (or Joey or Jimmy. It depends on the day). These boys are definitely in to their sock monkeys and play with them every day.

Tonight they decided to make costumes for their animals.

Cameron with Bob, outfitted with a mask, cape, and "arm and leg shields".

Harrison with Steve. He has a mask and a yellow cape.

The boys flew their monkeys off the ledge. That's where the capes came in.

Rough landings--good thing they had their shields.

They are very good to their sock monkeys.

It is very sweet to see how much they enjoy playing. Harrison is game for whatever's fun but Cameron really and truly loves his Bob. He sleeps with him every night, talks about him, asks me to take him to the store when Cam's at school (which I accidentally did once, when Cam shoved Bob in my purse), and calls him his best friend. I don't think I've ever seen him so attached to a lovey before.

Try, Try Again (aka A Most Embarrassing Moment and a Lesson Learned)

My very first week in Young Women as a frightened 12-year-old I volunteered to lead the music. This was something I knew I could do and in a small way I wanted to show off for the older girls. I stood by the piano and raised my arm. The hymn was "Come, Come Ye Saints"  and if you don't know, it switches from 4/4 time to 3/4 time several times within the verse. The song began just fine but didn't stay that way long. The time changes, coupled with my nervousness, resulted in very choppy, incorrect, and desperate conducting. I was disappointed I hadn't done better when I knew I could do it perfectly! But it appeared that no one really noticed because their heads were buried in their hymnbooks. My leaders gave me a "good job" smile as I sat back down. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I went on to lead music many more times without incident.

Then when I was about 14 I went to a Sunday-night devotional called a fireside. This was a stake event for all the youth in our area. I was asked to lead the music, to which I gladly agreed. When it was time for the opening hymn I stood up and opened my book. We were to sing "Carry On", a hymn I did not know well. As the piano played the introduction I looked out on the congregation, smiling. I waited for my cue to begin. I waited . . . and waited. The piano just kept playing. And then I was hit with a terrible panic: You missed your cue. You were supposed to start singing. Or maybe you're supposed to start singing now?

I was confused and too terrified to make eye contact with the pianist. I listened to the piano and thought that I'd bring the group in . . . now. That seemed right. With a swoop of my hand the people obediently followed me and began to sing, "Firm as the mountains around us, Stalwart and brave we stand --"

AND THEN.

I heard the music end, the notes pricking my mind with uncomfortable clarity: I had a problem.

It was the longest piano introduction in the history of hymns, practically the entire song, and now it was time to start. For real.

The congregation train-wrecked the end of the stanza and then started over, at my direction, "Firm as the mountains around us--"

I was so mortified. Because I was a teenager, everything I felt was raw and personal and intense and it would have been a blessing for me to have shriveled up and died.

After the opening prayer, imagine my dismay when the stake president praised me for my perseverance.

"We can all learn something from young Sister Cook," he said. "She made a mistake and everyone followed her. She obviously had no idea what she was doing but she just pressed forward. I mean, she really, really screwed up! But she finally got it right in the end. It was pretty brutal but what a lesson we can all learn from her. Great job!"

(These were not his actual words but that's how they fell on my ears.)

Oh my goodness, I really did want to melt into the floor.

But I didn't, and I survived.

I thought of this story as I sat by the organ last week, ready to sub for our regular ward chorister. Here I was, a 38-year-old woman, in the same position I was when I was 14, ready to stand and lead a congregation in the singing of hymns. I began to feel grateful that I hadn't given up when things had gotten hard, or I was humiliated, or hadn't succeeded. I was grateful that people had let me try and fail, and let me try again. In fact, they lifted me and praised me in my most embarrassing hour. And that got me thinking about life in general.

I've been blessed with supportive family and friends who believe in me. When I fall they encourage me to get back up and try again. And we all have a Savior who watches us try and fail, but does He ever stop cheering us on? No--He never stops!

He knows that we won't be perfect, that we'll make mistakes, that we'll feel disappointed, discouraged, embarrassed, or afraid. But as many times as we pick ourselves up He is there to help brush off the dust. When we struggle with things we can pray and He will give us strength--sometimes that comes in the words of a scripture, a friend who does a kind deed, or a feeling of peace and conviction that helps set us on the right path. I have felt that strength many times, especially on the weightier matters of mortality I have yet to master. But He gives me chance after chance and each time I try, I get a little better.

He said: Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. (Isaiah 41:10)

He is with us always, through trials and triumphs and everything else in between.

And that is music to my ears.

Forever . . . Well, Some Number

On Saturday Bryce had to return a bunch of stuff to Dillard's and we all tagged along. While we were there the power blipped out so Bryce had to start all over with his very long transaction. The kids were restless and I wanted to look for cheap jewelry so I said, "Hey kids, come with me to Forever 21." Mary said, "They should add one more to that" (so it would be 22, like the Taylor Swift song). I didn't catch on though and thought she meant to add a 1 to the beginning, so it would be "Forever 121", the store for the near immortal. Ha.

Let me say that our kids rarely go to the mall so they don't know any stores but Claire's (from talking with Mary). Cameron had a rude awakening when this store did not meet his expectations. The funniest was when we got home and he said, "I did not like Forever 51. I thought it would be like Area 51. But all it had was GIRL CLOTHES."

And jewelry. I wore this necklace to church today. Mare got a cute lace top and skirt, and dangly earrings.

Yeah, a shop that features outfits and not aliens was not up his alley. He and Harrison wandered around once and were completely done, ready to head off to the food court. Harrison found some sour balls by the check out and when Bryce came in, he let them buy bath scrubbies too. It was crazy to see these boys carrying little yellow "Forever 21" bags with their very manly finds. It was no Area 51 but at least they got something out of the trip.

Dreams, Visions, Goals, and True Nature

I finished my dream board, which I renamed my vision board (because these aren't just dreams, they are pictures of specific action-oriented achievements. Bam).

Bryce looked at it and said, "Hm, there's not very much on it." I jokingly said, "Well, you know me, I hardly have any goals." He replied, "Ahhh, a woman after my own heart." Somehow that conversation delighted me. We are just the same like that.

Also, last week I attended Carmen's Lia Sophia party in her home. I ordered some very cute earrings and enjoyed a ladies' night out. One of the things Carmen did was beauty profiling using Carol Tuttle's philosophy of "dressing your truth." The basic principle is that your true nature (which includes personality, temperament, etc.) fits in to one of four categories:

• Type 1: The Bright, Animated Woman
  You have a light, upward energy. You brighten a room and easily bring a smile to others’ faces. People enjoy the gift of your naturally fun-loving and hopeful nature.

• Type 2: The Subtle, Soft Woman
  You have a calm expressiveness about yourself. People like being around you because you help them slow down and experience peacefulness in life.

• Type 3: The Rich, Dynamic Woman
  You are naturally dynamic, sure, and purposeful. You have the gift of action, and seek to constantly move those around you forward to a desired outcome.

• Type 4: The Bold, Striking Woman
  You are reflective, concise, and clear. You have a natural gift for perfecting things and showing others how something can be made better. You exude an energy that is seen by others as serene.

Carmen made posters with dozens of adjectives to describe each type. As I scanned each list I thought, "I'm probably a Type 2. I'm conscientious, calm, sensitive, and traditional." Carmen said to our friend Holly, "You are definitely a Type 1." I agreed right away, because Holly is energetic, bubbly, and a little spazzy (in a good way). Then she turned to me and said, "Rebecca, you are also a Type 1."

What!?

She went on to say that I am fun and light up the room. I immediately thought, "No, Self, you are where fun goes to die." Not true, exactly, but I feel that I had all the fun beaten out of me years ago, by life and by choice. In the words of Harrison, "Ain't nobody got time for that." Organization, achievement, and discipline have been my priority; they don't come naturally and so I have worked hard on it for most--if not all--of my life.

Type 1 keywords are: charming, energetic, festive, flirtatious, airy, lively, playful, optimistic, imaginative, warm, and vivacious. Those are things I appreciate in others, but pushed aside for myself (except being optimistic and warm). I have to admit to being very flattered that Carmen, one of my best and most long-time friends would find me to be "a breath of fresh air." Could it be true that I was once--and maybe still am--a bright, animated woman? Do I still have that spark in me?

I actually went to bed with a smile on my face and thought about it all night, even in my dreams.

Tyce's Debut with Alex Boye

Two weeks ago Bryce got a message from a group he belongs to called Black LDS (LDS is the short name for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as Mormons). Anyway, the message said that Alex Boye' was shooting a new music video and that he was looking for a few men of color to be background dancers and drummers. Bryce immediately thought of Tyce, and emailed his qualifications. He got a response from Brigham Larson that said, "Great, see you at 1:30."

(Alex Boye' is one of the few black members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and also has a solo career. He sings both religious and secular music. Lately he has been taking pop hits and "Africanizing" them, which results in a wonderful new sound to familiar songs.)

Bryce and Tyce weren't sure if he meant 1:30 the next day (Friday) or that weekend so they were touch and go as to weather the trip would really happen. They didn't want to get up there and find that they were a week early, you know? Finally they got confirmation at the crack of dawn that yes, he meant that day, and so the men packed up and hit the road at 5:30 in the morning. Hey, when you get the word from Alex Boye's people that you're IN, you go!

Tyce met two other young men, Nick and Wayne. One lived in Logan, Utah and the other was from New York but was attending LDS Business College in Salt Lake. They were super nice guys. It turns out that Brigham Larson owned the piano studio they filmed in and played in the video. It was such a treat to not only meet Alex Boye' (which Tyce had done when we went to his concert at the South Point a few years ago) but to jam with him--they sang and danced for four hours! Tyce said that Alex was just as down to earth and awesome as he seems on stage. Alex even remembered Tyce from the concert over two years ago but hardly recognized him now that he'd grown up so much.

Nick, Tyce, Alex, and Wayne.

Bryce got to watch the entire shoot and he said the guys had a blast. There was such positive energy, laughter, and fun the entire time. Tyce was taught to play the congo drums by master musician Clive Romney! I think that Tyce would have loved to extend it from an afternoon to an entire weekend.

Fun on the set.

In the end they made an awesome video that I would have loved to watch even if my child wasn't in it. But the fact that he was made it super cool for me! The song was a cover of Ho Hey by The Lumineers and I like this version much more than the original. Watch the video on YouTube: Type in "Alex Boye Ho Hey" and you'll see it. I think you'll like it.

Where Impulsivity Meets Boredom

Look what Harrison did when he was bored in the bathroom.

What rosy lips you have, President Snow.

He took Mary's red lipstick and gave some of the people in this month's Ensign a makeover.

Lorenzo Snow as a young man, and just so pretty.

The boy thought that if less was more, MORE would be way more. In a good way.

If your prayers to God are to be sweet, start with sweet, ruby-licious lips.

He added quickly, "Don't worry, I made sure I didn't color Jesus' face. I thought to myself, 'If you did that, you would go straight to hell.'"

But he did take scissors and cut out a picture of Joseph Smith he liked. He tacked it to his bedroom wall.

At least someone's reading the Ensign, right?

Just a Little of This and That

Last week Bryce received a new calling in the church: secretary in the stake Young Men's presidency. This means that he will help plan combined activities at the macro level for all 9 wards (like youth conference) instead of teaching on Sundays in our own ward. He's excited about the people he's going to work with but he will really miss working with the 14- and 15-year-old boys. He put a lot of time and love into those young men (and they were not the easiest to love!).

He was asked by President Udall to shave his beard in light of his new leadership position. In our stake, the men who serve in presidencies or bishoprics are asked to be clean-shaven, to be a good example for the young men who are preparing for missionary service. Bryce knew the request was coming but it was still a sad, sad day when he took a razor to his beloved beard.

As he stood at the sink ready to make the change, he asked Harrison, "'Do you know why I'm shaving?" He was hoping to segue into a lesson about obedience. Harrison said, "Yes . . . because you looked like a hipster."

A hipster!!!

Anyway. He is smooth-faced and I think he looks great but it's crazy how different he looks.

In other news, I have been feeling great lately. I say this as NEWS because I can't remember the last time I felt happy, light, and energized for more than a moment at a time. I have been eating great, exercising hard, and praying even harder. I've been taking time for myself and it's definitely what I needed.

Guess what, I went on a lunch date with Bryce today (and he was cool with it, as it turns out). We went to the Carson Street Cafe at the Golden Nugget. He'd been there before and was a little dismayed that the menu had changed but I thought it was fine. I got a salad which Bryce thought looked really, really boring but it was fine for my clean-eating self. It was so nice to be out while the kids were in school.

No seminary this week due to mid-terms and it has been been a welcome break for me. Love everything about teaching except getting up at the crack of dawn. My anxiety has been pretty intense so my sleeping has been horrible; but this week I've slept soundly and felt great.

That's about all for now. Gotta get dinner on the table. Thank goodness for the crock pot! (Last night it was split pea soup; tonight it's beef stew).

A New Start (aka I Am Going to Rock This)

So this rebirth, so to speak, has been a long time coming. I actually started implementing some of my changes before the new year rolled in, so you know I'm serious. But my motivation and inspiration have been working in me for about a year; I finally decided that I am worth my own time.

I am putting ME first.

Man, just writing that is a relief but also a stress. A relief in the sense that I'm giving myself permission to pursue enjoyment and fulfillment; and stress because, to my ears, it sounds so foreign and self-centered. But one thing I know is that I'm not able to give what I don't have, and so I am actively focusing on filling myself up--not as a desperate act to get more to-do boxes checked off, but to take time to feel, really FEEL happy.

I have had some very, very good days so far. I am going to make a dream board; what do you think of that!!??

Here are some things that are important to me:

Clean eating--whole foods, no chemicals. I feel pretty darn awesome so far.

Exercising--to keep my heart healthy and my mind clear. This is one of the best times for me to think. Also, the dog loves it so I feel like I'm doing right by her. I even RAN a little the last few days. Hello.

Meditating--oh man, I forgot how much I like doing that. One of my favorite ways to meditate is through guided imagery. Tyce walked in on me in the lotus position the other day while the soothing voice on the YouTube video encouraged me to "see yourself as a powerful, sensual, attractive woman." I asked Tyce if he'd ever meditated and he said, "Not like that!" Ha. Get used to it, kids.

Making my marriage a priority--this has been hard lately, for a long time. When circumstances make it impossible, literally, to be alone--it is a huge strain in the relationship. Much of my focus is on attitude but I have also decided that I will meet Bryce every other week for lunch so at least we can have a date that way. I haven't even told him that yet so maybe he won't be excited? Oh well, it's on my dream board so it's gonna happen, people.

Taking a class--I give myself permission to take a class of some kind. Maybe yoga, maybe art history. I don't know.

Trip to NYC with Carmen--we talked about this years ago and we are celebrating our upcoming 40th birthdays with a vacation by ourselves!!!!

And this my mantra for the year:

This is me. This is me rockin' my own world, being the star of my own life, doing what I was born to do--really LIVE.

This is my year.

Thirteen!

Guess who had a birthday on January 5th!?!? Our Baby Mary is a teenager now! We had her party on Friday, one day before her big day, because, get this . . . I thought Friday WAS her birthday. That's what I get for not looking at a calendar. But it worked out fine because it was still winter break and her friends were around no matter which day we'd picked.

One thing I really appreciate about Mary is that she has great friends. They are fun and funny and nice and just good girls. She invited her closest pals over: Sara, Bella, Nikki, Taya, and Katy, who moved away to Logandale but was able to come for the party. Highlights of the evening included playing Murder in the Dark (which involved A LOT of screaming), a burping contest (which Mary won), and playing Quelf. Mary was super excited and animated so much that my every attempt to calm her or to get her to lower her voice backfired. It was one of the loudest stretches of time I have ever experienced.

Her cake and crown.

Party girls on the left: Bella, Katy, and Sara. On the right: Taya and Nikki.

She got perfect things from her friends: a Wizard 101 gift card from Nikki, candy and a journal from Taya, a little glass frog from Sara, and a blank book and art supplies from Bella. Katy is giving Mary's gift to her later on. Mary just loved Sara's homemade card to her which said, "To my good-for-nothing friend Mary. I was going to get you a gift card, but then I decided not to waste that much money on you. So I went to the dollar store, but everything cost too much...." It went on and on and Mary was dying laughing.

Only a good friend can roast you like that!

One of the many times I tried for a normal picture and she did something goofy when the camera flashed.

She was quite amused by the tiny rhinoceros snow globe I got her.

If this doesn't show you how wound up she was . . . she stood up and danced on her chair while we sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

After much coaxing she posed quietly.

But she couldn't reign it in for long!

At least she had a good time.

All the girls went home except for Katy, who spent the night. We have a no-sleep-over rule except for out-of-town guests (and cousins) so Mary was super excited to spend extra time with Katy.

The next day I took the girls to Subway (Mary's favorite) and then to see the last Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn: Part 2.  It was a nice girly afternoon. Then I had to take Katy back, and there were many weeepings and wailings. It's hard to have your friends move, even if it's only 90 minutes away.

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Do you know how much I love my Mary? She is such a wonderful, talented, beautiful, kind girl and she has brought me the greatest gift I could ever know--the love of a mother for her daughter.

Happy Birthday, Mary!

Three Cheers for the New Year

 Like I said before, Tyce went to the New Year's Eve dance with Allison and the rest of us just had a quiet evening at home.

Nick, Jessica, Tyce, Allison.

 We usually go to Chuck E. Cheese that day but the twins were out of sorts and not fit for the public. Mary took a long nap and it was just kind of an "off" day. That's the day Heather left for the airport so I think we were all just kind of in a blah slump. But anyway, we still did the New Year's tree which was a fun thing we did for the first time last year.

The little tree decked out with beads, blowers, and balloons.

Each balloon contained a fortune for what the new year might bring, and also some money for luck. All balloons had a $1 bill except for one happy soul who got $5. Some of the fortunes were:

On a day you look your worst, five people will compliment you.
You will discover that people like you for who you are.
Unexpected wisdom will come from the school cafeteria.
Someone will mistake you for a celebrity and request your autograph.

Mary sat on her balloon with a bang!

Half the fun is waiting for that scary-wonderful moment when you finally succeed in popping the balloon.

Harrison is a cutie.

Look who got the fiver!

Unfortunately the most coveted item on the tree were these glasses, but in silver.

Cam was the first to claim them and the other two were pretty jealous.

These kids are too cool to handle.

We put the kids to bed early. Some times you want to have fun but it just isn't going to work out, you know? Anyway, Tyce and Allison came back after midnight and so there was no rest for the parents until they were safely locked away on different floors of the house.

On a serious note, I am really excited about a fresh start. I have so much that I'm feeling and thinking about that, but I will save it for another day. But this much I will tell you: This is going to be MY year.

Post-Christmas Fun

Two main things: we partied with Heather, and Tyce's friend Allison came to stay for a few days.

We went to the Bellagio and to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. We played Quelf with Allison and Heather and it was a a blast. Allison went with Tyce, Bryce, and Mary to the Venetian and rode the gondolas. The two teens went to the mega stake New Years Eve dance and had a great time.

Cam

Posing can be painful.

Beautiful Bella joined us.

Cute girls.

Chocolate fountain at the sweets shop.

My oldest boy and I.

Cam and his gelato.

Stylish Harrison and his fedora...and gelato.

Watching the dancing fountains at the Bellagio to the song "I'm Proud to Be an American".

Pretty Mare.

Aquarium at Caesar's Palace (by the Cheesecake Factory).

Playing Quelf with the big kids--Mary had to wrap her hand in foil for the rest of the game!

Allison had to construct a mask out of kitchen stuff. She was a great sport.

Bryce and Mary had to splash water on their faces and sing sea shanties.

Allison and Tyce; Tyce sang with the gondolier and "Peppi" was super impressed.

Chillin' at home.

Before the dance.

Double date with Nick and Jess.

It was so fun to have visitors. When Heather left I was seriously sad--we had fun I now I miss her big time. Allison was the easiest houseguest and a very sweet girl. Tyce is fortunate to meet really wonderful people throughout the world and to keep in touch with them.

Now we have a few days, just us, and I'm wondering how to fill the time! What a nice break we've had. At least I have Mary's birthday to look forward to on Friday...if you can believe it, she will be 13! She is in party-planning mode, for sure.