Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

Mary has always had a hard time going to bed at normal hours and waking up at normal hours but it has gotten exponentially worse in the last year. It was so bad that we took every light bulb from her room so she couldn't stay up reading or cleaning or drawing all night--she would even set up camp in her walk-in closet and shut the door! The next morning we'd find her curled up amidst art supplies, books, and cereal, dead to the world.

Even if we send her to bed at 9 or 10, even without lights, without distractions....she won't fall asleep for hours. She'll sing, she'll make up stories, she'll be hungry and get a snack. In the morning it is an hour-long process (or more) to wake her up. We've tried alarm clocks but she sleeps though the noise (though no one else does). I have shake her, talk to her, shake her again, talk to her again....sometimes I think she's responding to me but then she'll say something like, "Okay, I just have to finish the last lap in MarioKart" or "The boy said to take the fish back" and I'll be like, Really? All this time I've been here you've been dreaming?

Then when I turn up the heat, she gets angry and yells for me to leave her alone. So then I back off and try again, nicely, usually with the dog (because she won't yell at the dog). That usually wakes her up, but I have to stay with her until she puts her feet on the floor and actually stands up. Even if I'm certain she'd lucid and awake, if I leave she'll go back to sleep. I don't know how many times I've been incensed to discover her sleeping when I thought she would be walking out the door.

Left to her own will, she'd got to sleep around 2 a.m. and wake up around noon. Sometimes even later.

She's not lazy; in fact, she is quite productive during the hours most people are asleep. Obviously the world does not accommodate or accept that time shift in children; kids are expected to be at school bright and early (and parents want to get to bed). It was this discord that led me to do some online research, and I think I hit the nail on the head with this: Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).

Delayed Sleep-Phase Syndrome (DSPS) is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder in which the individual's internal body clock is delayed with respect to the typical sleep at night, rise in the morning pattern of most adults. Such people are sometimes called "night owls", though for those with DSPS, their hours are not by choice. 

People with DSPS generally fall asleep late at night, often in the pre-dawn hours, and wake in the late morning or in the afternoon. Furthermore, there is a striking inability to fall asleep at an earlier, more typical bedtime. As a result, many people with DSPS have been labelled as insomniacs. But if such a person is allowed to follow his internal sleep pattern, he generally has no problems with either falling asleep or waking naturally. 

However, if he ignores his internal clock and attempts to live on a normal schedule, DSPS can cause difficulty thinking clearly, driving safely, and generally functioning well. Over time, this may significantly reduce a person's productivity and enjoyment of life, and can lead to clinical depression or other stress-related medical problems.

(source: http://dspsinfo.tripod.com/)

I read several forum discussions and thought, YES! this is how it is (to live with someone like that, anyway). It made me feel less angry and more compassionate. I thought of an addiction recovery commercial from a long time ago: It's not your fault . . . but it is your problem.

We already ordered some liquid melatonin, the body's natural sleep hormone, as an aid to help her feel more tired at night. She refuses to take it in pill form so we hope she will take it in liquid. This is something that others dealing with DSPS have tried (with varying degrees of success). As far as waking up, some suggested blue light therapy and an alarm clock that shakes the bed. I think I will order the vibrating alarm clock but I'm not sure about the blue light yet (mostly because of the cost).

It is kind of a relief to know that this has a name. It's not just she's stubborn or makes poor choices; or that I am a bad mother for failing to get her to sleep / get her up the next morning. It's a real issue for quite a few people. But it's also sad because there's no easy solution, no medication or sure-thing that will change the matter. I think that half the migraines he had last year were due to sleep deprivation . . . and she just can't afford to miss that much school again. That's one of the main reasons I considered home-schooling Mary last year; luckily she pulled through but it's still an option for this year. I would prefer for her to go to junior high like the rest of the 6th graders and to succeed there, of course. With a 7:40 a.m. start time, that would be a monumental feat--but not impossible. We will see.

P.S. Mom, do you think this could apply to you?

P.P.S. I have a wicked summer cold. Lame.