Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Advice for Young People re: Vampires

Dear Young Friend,

I am pretty sure you're not a vampire. But it wouldn't surprise me if you had a crush on one. Apparently they are pretty hard to resist. I know I'd appreciate a man who sparkled.

(Bryce, take note!)

But this is a serious matter, young people. Books and movies make these relationships seem beautiful and romantic and without consequence. I'm here to tell you, there are consequences.

Not every part-vampire looks as cute and sweet as baby Renesmee.

Some . . . well, let's just say that some children won't compete in any beauty pageants.

Beware, young people, of vampire love.

You could have a baby like this:

A Hillbilly Vampire.

They're cute except when they chase you, fangs bared, with a rally cry of "Git 'er done!"

Don't say I haven't warned you. Beware. Be vigilant.

And when they're running full force, be afraid.

Your older, wiser friend


Denalee said...


FoReVeR WeLcH said...

Hahahahahahah sooo FUNNY!!!!!
Is that going to be the Renesmee in the movie?????????

Rebecca and Co. said...

Hmmm, I don't know. When I did a google images search for renesmee this picture came up several times on the first page. She's a doll though, isn't she?

Emmy said...

That little girl is cute, I wonder if she will really be here. And that picture of your son is hilarious!

Mopsie said...

When I read your blog I just scroll slowly, one paragraph or picture at a time, so Harrison was a total laugh-out-loud surprise. You're too funny, Rebie.