I am pretty sure you're not a vampire. But it wouldn't surprise me if you had a crush on one. Apparently they are pretty hard to resist. I know I'd appreciate a man who sparkled.
(Bryce, take note!)
But this is a serious matter, young people. Books and movies make these relationships seem beautiful and romantic and without consequence. I'm here to tell you, there are consequences.
Not every part-vampire looks as cute and sweet as baby Renesmee.
Some . . . well, let's just say that some children won't compete in any beauty pageants.
Beware, young people, of vampire love.
You could have a baby like this:
A Hillbilly Vampire.
They're cute except when they chase you, fangs bared, with a rally cry of "Git 'er done!"
Don't say I haven't warned you. Beware. Be vigilant.
And when they're running full force, be afraid.
Your older, wiser friend