Flat and Scrunch

Think of the inchworm. First it's 3 inches long, flat to the ground. Then it gathers momentum, uses all its strength, and scrunches up to a quarter of its length, proud of its accomplishment. And then . . . flat. Poom. You can't sustain that pose forever.

But it does it again. And in doing so, it moves forward.

Are you good at analogies? Yes, you are. Do you see how this inchworm is like my blog? Hiatus, and then burst of energy!

Flat and scrunch. And lucky for you, it's scrunch time. Yo, yo, here we go. Catching up on the happenings around here.

1. Football games! Bryce and his dad have BYU football season tickets, even though we live a day's drive from Provo. The kids all took a turn going to a game; some kids love the sports action, others love the cotton candy and nachos.

The kids loved their special trips up to Utah to spend time with their dad and Grandpa Al.

2. New Year's Eve! Like every year, we went to Chuck E. Cheese's. We brought a few Shapiro kids with us and everyone had a blast. I didn't bring my camera but you can imagine the scene.

We had to be back a little earlier than normal to get Tyce to a party and then off the the regional New Year's Eve dance. Guess who got to chaperon the activity . . . oh my goodness, you are correct. I spent my night watching hundreds of young people dance, eat ice cream, and flirt. But I must say that it was quite fun.

Tyce had a blast meeting new people and dancing the night away. But the best part of the evening for me was when he asked me--his mom!--to dance the last song of the night.

3. Mary's Birthday! Can you believe Baby Mary is 11 now? She can be a challenge also extraordinarily delightful. She went out to breakfast with Bryce before school. At lunch I brought her Subway and ate lunch with her. I even got to go to recess!

BFFs Nikki, Mary, and Sara

Then she invited Taylor over and we had a family party. She wanted Little Caesar's pizza and instead of a birthday cake, an ice cream sundae bar.

Taylor is a neighbor and friend.

Birthday girl!

She got some very nice presents.

We love our 11-year-old!



4. Star of the Week! Cameron was given this week-long title in his kindergarten class. He got privileges such as being the line leader, choosing his seat for the day, preparing an All-About-Me poster, and bringing an item for show-and-tell.

He loved being Star of the Week! But then there was . . . the incident.

The show-and-tell instructions said to bring something special from home, but no pets. Cam asked if he could bring his new Nerf gun that he bought with his own money; I said sure.

What I didn't know is that I had sent my child to school with what is considered A WEAPON.

All I know is that it ended in humiliation and embarrassment, with Cam forced to keep his Nerf gun concealed and having a chat with the assistant principal.

I'm sure it was very low-key and they were just following procedures when one violates a school rule; but all I know is that my sweet little guy came home crying and I felt horrible. I'm the one who sent him to off with the Nerf blaster in the first place. He probably would've gotten less busted for bringing a cat.

On Monday he brought an alternate show-and-tell; Bryce suggested he bring a bag of cotton balls. Cam brought his tiny stuffed horse with a BYU helmet, which passed the non-violence test.

6. D.A.R.E. Graduation! The 5th-graders completed their drug education program with a visit from local weathermen Kevin Janison (in the role of motivational speaker) and the graduates' performance of a sassy song about resisting peer pressure. A person from each class was elected to read his/her essay to the entire 5th grade and their families at the ceremony, and Mary was chosen from her class!

7. Visit from Grandpa Al! He came for the long weekend. One day he and some of the kids went rock hunting and exploring in the desert.

8. Tyce and I have joined a community choir, Henderson Choral Artists, which is super challenging and so much fun. We have an amazing director and pianist and I'm really looking forward to performing with the group.

9. Other than that, things have been very, very good and very, very the opposite, depending on the day or minute.

10. Oh!!! I was released from my calling in Young Women, which was terribly bittersweet. I knew it was time and I am thrilled about the new leaders for the girls. But I will miss my associations with the young women and the ladies with whom I served. Those last three years have been tiring but so rewarding. But more on that later.

11. Maybe you would like to see a picture of me? It's been a while.

Pretend I'm smiling. This new high-def camera is a little too realistic for flattering self-portraits.

Okay, that's all for now. Must run and get kids to school.

This is Why I Haven't Blogged Lately

This is a typical weekday.

6:00 a.m.--Go walking with Carmen (3 days a week).

7:30 a.m.--Get three kids up and dressed, with an attitude somewhere between cheerleader and drill sergeant.

9:00 a.m.--Kids arrive at elementary school.

11:45 a.m.--Twins return home from morning kindergarten.

1:30 p.m.--Pick up Tyce from high school.

3:30 p.m.--Pick up Mary from elementary (though most days she walks).

4:00 or 4:30 p.m.--Volleyball practice for Tyce, Activity Days for Mary, and friends over to play.

6:00 p.m.--Dinner.

It's a good thing I have that 2 1/2 hour break while the kids are in school. That's when I do errands, cleaning, and visiting. The days I blog my house is a mess; the days I clean I don't have time for the computer.

It's not that I'm so incredibly busy as it is that I am jumping in the car every other hour.

I only have a moment now before I have to get Tyce early from school to go to the neurologist. Tomorrow the twins have dentist appointments. Just the usual stuff that moms do, of course.

You know how I told you that Mary is writing a story? Well, Tyce is writing one as well and it's really good! I have never known him to write for fun but he's hand-written about 20 pages so far. It is set in the medieval times and deals with themes of controlling parents (!), joining the army, physical prowess, and romance.

I went to Deseret Book and they didn't have what I wanted today...so I wasted my short free time for nothing. At least I got to get out of the house, which didn't happen yesterday.

All right, shoes are on kids and now we're getting in the mini-van. Wish us luck that the boys will be good at their big brother's appointment.

That's all for now.

Friday Confessional

1. I only have one New Year's resolution: to become perfect. Haha. I recently read something that really struck a chord with me though, about goal-setting. The author said to set goals that are within your control; for example, instead of "Get my novel published by a big publishing house" (out of the author's control) write, "Send my manuscript to three publishers a week" (within the author's control). The likelihood of the getting published is greater if you widen your net.

Another thing that meant a lot to me was the "Just for Today" creed adapted from the one they use at the Al-Anon 12-step meetings. Life is made of a thousand tiny decisions every day.

Okay, for my real resolution (and I do only have one): To live my life more in tune with the Spirit, and to feel closer to my Savior. So that means meditation, personal prayer and study, physical exercise, awareness of my relationships with others . . . in other words, to be better than before. To become closer to the person I want to be. It's nothing I can cross off a list but rather a reminder to stay the course (with more energy and enthusiasm).

2. I think I have abandoned sending out Christmas cards. I haven't made that absolute declaration to myself but the last few years have been been card-less. I love receiving cards though. I guess that is hypocritical of me, to hope for cards without sending any myself? Do you know I love you even if I don't send holiday greetings? Or do you assume I've essentially unfriended you by snail-mail?

3. My goal is to take down all the Christmas decorations before January 5th, Mary's birthday. This is not because I'm an un-decorating superstar or anything. It's because one year our tree stayed up until the end of January and I was so sick of looking at it I wanted to cry. In fact, I tried to disassemble it myself but all I could do was take the top third off, which left me with a stumpy reminder that I was not done yet.

4. My bedroom, which was looking so awesome, has taken a turn for the worse.

5. My citrus tree only produced one lemon and one orange this year. I've got to figure out how to prune that thing.

6. My leather couch has a rip between the cushions. I can't decide if it's just wear and tear or someone took scissors to it.

7. I want to make my own papier-mache glitter letters in a vintage frame with blinking lights with the word "SIMPLIFY".

8. And then right next to it a piece of notebook paper with the marker-scrawled word: "IRONIC".

9. I don't really want to do 7 or 8. Or maybe I do?

10. Mary won her class's D.A.R.E. essay contest and got to read hers along with the other class winners. People said to me, "She's a great writer! She takes after you!" but the reality is that she is a better writer at age 11 than I am at 36.

11. She had a birthday! She's 11 and we had a little family party where she requested an ice cream sundae bar instead of a cake. I was a bit sad to not make her a cake because I consider my baking a gift to the birthday person, amateur though it may be. But I must say I am a pro at grocery shopping, so maybe this ice cream idea actually plays to my strengths.

12. Cameron is his class's Star of the Week! Bryce looked at the "all about me" poster I was working on and said, "That's right, starve the weak!" I looked at him like he was crazy. What did he mean by that? Survival of the Fittest was destined to knock Cameron off? And then it occurred to me: He said "Star of the Week" just like I had. But my mind heard an entirely different phrase. Kind of like "this guy" and "the sky" . . . they sound just the same when you use them in a sentence. (The sky is blue / This guy is blue.)

13. I'm excited and nervous to have Donna and Angela come over tonight to babysit. I have PTSD from other babysitting experiences but I'm trying to focus on being positive and grateful.

14. I find this new laptop a little difficult to type on. But I love it.

15. I wish I could spend the whole day in my room watching TV today. No feeding kids, no cleaning up, no dealing with drama. But I guess that would shoot down my "just for today" mantra, wouldn't it? Unless I changed it to "Just for today....I will suspend my goal to do anything productive". Haha!

16. Today is my dad's 61st birthday! I love you, Dad!

O Happy Christmas Day

We wrapped presents on the 23rd instead of the 24th this year but we still stayed up until midnight doing all the last minute preparation. I think Bryce and I could have slept until noon on Christmas day . . . but no kid would ever let that happen!

The big family presents this year were a Wii that Bryce bought at a pawn shop and and Xbox 360 (that he bought at Best Buy). So we went from having 10-year-old hand-me-down systems to two up-to-date ones that they still make games for. The Kinect system for the Xbox is really fun--your own body is the controller. We need to do more of that river rafting game! But right now the Xbox is being monopolized by Tyce with his brand new beloved "Black Ops".

I have loved playing Mario Kart with the kids on the Wii but I am sooooo bad!

Santa brought Tyce a video game, Mary a "real" lion cub, Cameron and Harrison both got Playmobile knight/castle sets. Bryce also got a video game (NCAA Football '11). And I not only got a laptop but also a new camera (Canon s95). Guess who's been good this year? Holla!

After stockings and Santa gifts we ate breakfast. Then we moved to the front rooms for the rest of the festivities, i.e. ripping open the rest of the presents. Later in the day the Shapiro kids came over here and our kids went over there--back and forth, back and forth. It was a great day!

Goofy shot but cute. On the stairs Christmas morning! Can't wait for family prayer so they can see what Santa brought.

Try again for a better shot? Nah, let's just get this show on the road!

Here they come!

Mary and her lion. It really purrs and blinks its eyes.

Chiaroscuro, light and dark. I should paint this. Tyce got his Madden '11 game!

The twins were anxious to play with their new knights and castles. They even got a real-sized sword and shield.

Phase 2 by the Christmas tree. Harrison got a tool set!

She has the most expressive face! She was excited to receive this beautiful set from Dave and Brooklyn and the girls.

Tyce got a gift card for clothes.

Smiley Cam.

Harrison loved his little car.

The white ninja from G.I. Joe!

Tyce and Harrison were the present-passer-outers.

This is what Mary bought for Tyce: a ceramic eagle. This exchange really warmed my heart, because he gave her one of his favorite books.

Spencer and Tyce played video games.

Check out these new cool shoes!

BBQ pork, Velveeta, and corn heating up for all-day grazing.

Harrison likes playing the Lego games on the Xbox--I think this is Lego Batman.


Thank you to our families who blessed us with their thoughtful and generous gifts! We are truly grateful to have such loving people in our lives.

Christmas Eve

On our Mary-decorated table we had a wonderful dinner. Mary made red jell-o, which was the one item the twins requested for dinner. Some days she is my little apprentice. She sure loves holidays.

The kids look cute enough to eat.

After the blessing and before eating, we all pulled our Christmas crackers. Bryce served his mission in England and we adopted the tradition in our own family. (But you can get crackers here in America--like at Target.)

If you pull the cracker right there will be a "pop". Included in the crackers is a tissue-paper crown (which we wear during dinner), a toy, and a joke.

After dinner the kids got their new pajamas and a new book. Tyce was being so friendly to Mary that she didn't know how to take him.

So much love can be a little....overwhelming.

These kids were ready for Santa! Cameron and Harrison even baked sugar cookies with their dad for St. Nick. Bryce made sure they left him a can of Dr Pepper too.

I liked both of these pictures so much I couldn't decide between them.

After changing in to pajamas we had our candlelight devotional.

This year's ceremony included watching a really touching video about the true meaning of Christmas.

After all that we sent the kids up to bed with kisses and wishes for a restful night's sleep (which was, as every parent knows, wishful thinking!)

How you spell cute: C-A-M and H-A-R-E

My two kindergarteners are very interested in spelling, as I've mentioned before. They have their cache of words they spell instead of say: Y-E-S, N-O (or N to the O), S-T-O-P, G-O, and a few others including their older brother's and sister's names.

One day Cameron and Harrison were looking at a cool picture of a dirt bike on the computer. Cameron looked over at me and said, quietly to his twin, "M-O-M is not very good at dirt bikes."

Apparently they have started spelling in front of me.

They're outsmarting me by the day! It will be a hard thing to give up, talking in code around them.

I guess my only ace in the hole is my fluency in Pig Latin. Oh-nay id-kay an-kay ak-cray at-thay, ite-ray?

ah-hay ah-hay

Christmas Break

Mary's most-wanted Christmas present was to have her room redecorated. She picked out new bedding and today we're painting. The color is Sonic Lime, which looks bright enough to glow in the dark. And citrus-y enough to eat.

Just kidding.

Ugh, I am not the fan of painting I thought I was. None of us are professionals, let's put it that way. But her room was so atrocious to begin with (Bryce and Mare must have spackled 500 holes) that I hope a little dripping and uneven paint slapped on the walls will still be an improvement.

I am taking a break. The little boys are playing Lego Batman on the (new!) xBox 360 and Tyce is with friends. Bryce is taking his painting shift now. Mary is surprisingly averse to having paint-crusted hands and has taken two showers already. I think she's more of a big-picture kind of person--design over duty, if you know what I mean.

Okay, I'm going back up to help. This time I'm shielding my eyes from the blinding green sheen by wearing my sunglasses.

A Christmas Miracle

Yesterday I took just Mary to do her Christmas shopping. Every year we draw names for the kids to give to each other, so she only had one; however, she wanted to buy for all three kids. But when we were on our way to Target she changed her mind about her older brother. She said, "He doesn't even like me. He's pulling away from the family. Even when he's nice to me he's aggressive. So I don't want to get him a present."

"Well, Mary," I said, "It's hard to be a 14-year-old boy. He needs to feel love from the family so he'll want to be close to us. If you treat him well then he'll rise to your expectation." These are the things I say to myself on a daily basis.

"Yeah, I don't know," she replied. "I've tried it and it doesn't work."

"You know, if you lined up 100 boys his age, most of them would be a lot like your brother. So you probably have less trouble with Tyce than you do with him being a teenage boy. You need to accept him for who he is and how he is right now, just like we do with you," I said.

"You're a parent though. You're obligated to be responsible about that," she grumped.

I laughed. Then I said, "Jesus loved the unlovable. He loves us, even when we don't deserve it. He would want us to love everyone, particularly our family members, especially when we feel they don't deserve it." I looked over to see how she was taking my sermon. "But the choice is yours. You don't have to get him anything."

She looked relieved to be off the hook.

We went to Target and the dollar store. I stayed with her most of the time but she enjoyed the freedom of strolling the aisles alone. On the way home she said, "Why did we draw names anyway if I didn't have to get anything for Tyce?"

"You did if that was the name you drew. Wait, did you draw his name?" I asked, eyebrow raised. She confirmed that she had. "Then you really should have gotten something for him," I sighed. Dang. I tried to think of a way to turn this around. Did I have anything already at home she could sign her name to? Was there any candy in the treat closet?

But before I could come up with a plan, she declared, "It's okay. I did get him something."

"You did?" I was surprised.

"Well, he is my brother," she said, "even if he is hard to deal with."

"Yes, he is," I said. "Thank you."

Later that day I cried. Tears for how hard things can be. Tears of gratitude for understanding hearts. Tears of love for my Savior--who came to the earth, descended below all things, lived a perfect life, and died so that we can be forgiven of our sins and live forever.

Love. I felt love.

Love for others. Love for my family. Love for the Son of God. And love for myself--because I know I am loved, even when I don't deserve it.

I hope I never forget. I hope that you never forget. You are loved--loved for who you are, and in spite of who you are.

I saw that love manifest in a 10-year-old sister for her punch-you-in-the-arm, tell-you-to-go-away teenage brother.

And that is the true miracle of Christmas.

Christmas is Close

This week the kids are off school. It's been pretty good so far, though yesterday the twins had two friends over, and Mary and Tyce each had one. And they all stayed for dinner! One of the little friends said that if she ate the soup I made she would throw up. Good thing I make a killer grilled cheese sandwich.

Every morning I've been having a Christmas devotional with the kids. I read a scripture and then a story from a book called "Sharing Christmas: Stories for the Season". Yesterday I flipped through and settled on "The Little Match Girl" by Hans Christian Anderson. I forgot how sad that story was! The older kids both said, "That was horrible! First no one loves her and then she dies!"

So I decided to read another one, called "Bryan's Gift" by Alma J. Yates. I scanned it and saw it was about two boys; it was probably good for our group.

I read about best friends with dreams of playing in the NFL. It was nice. And then: "Ever since Bryan had told me about the cancer in his left leg, I had prayed for him."

The kids cried, "Mom! Stop reading! Wait . . . well, I guess you can finish."

It was about a healthy boy, Randy, who knows he's getting an expensive football for Christmas. He has a great idea about what to give Bryan in the hospital--Randy's own unwrapped football. Randy reasoned that it would cheer him up and give him something to look forward to.

By the end I was sobbing and reading at the same time. Bryan, the boy with the amputated leg, gives the football back to his best friend. I'm surprised the kids could understand me choking through the last part, but I'm pretty sure they were crying too:

"But if I take your ball, that will mean I didn't give you anything good."


"Oh, but you did, Randy. You gave me the best gift of all, just by coming." Bryan smiled. "I waited all day. I didn't even sleep. I just lay here and looked out the window. I knew you'd come because you're my friend, the best friend in the world, and having a friend like you is the very best Christmas present of all."

Oh my goodness. There was enough sniffing and tear-wiping to keep the Kleenex company in business for a year. I had to read "The Texas Night Before Christmas" to balance the mood or we'd be bawling all morning.

Later that day Mary and her friend Taylor wanted to make cupcakes from a mix. I suggested they put their egg shells in the box, since it would all end up in the trash anyway. I played LIFE with Harrison while they mixed. Then I heard,"Ohhhhh....did you say to put the egg shells in the box?" They had cracked the eggs into the box! It was an easy fix (though not very sanitary) to dump the eggs into the mixing bowl. But people ate the finished product and we're all still alive.

I am almost ready for Christmas. But I think our outside lights might be on the fritz because of all this rain. That would be a little lame, to go dark a few days before Christmas. I think we might have gone a little overboard with the gifts, even though each kid only gets three (and one from Santa). They are pretty great presents, I must say. I will tell you what they got after Christmas, in case any prying eyes read this (which is highly unlikely, haha).

We watched Mr. Krueger's Christmas for FHE. We also watched it in Young Women for our Christmas lesson last Sunday. Next Sunday the ward choir is singing and I am excited to be in a quartet for one number. 

For Christmas Eve dinner this year we are having roast pork loin, roasted potatoes, spinach salad, and Dutch apple pie. I just bought the pies. I will probably make it through my entire life never making a pie from scratch. You may remember that we eat by candlelight and then have a special program, which Bryce is in charge of and is always the highlight of the entire Christmas season. I am really looking forward to that.

So that's what's going on with us. Busy, and with mostly good things. Hohoho.

When You Haven't Seen Someone Since 8th Grade....

...you get to take stroll down Memory Lane.

Bryce and his friend Patrick Huang were both on the middle school basketball team together--looking good in their short shorts and knee socks, no doubt. Bryce told our kids, "If you've ever felt like you don't fit in, imagine being the only Chinese kid in Tulsa, Oklahoma."

Well, Bryce moved away but Patrick stayed around. They reconnected through Facebook. A few weeks ago Patrick was in Las Vegas for a convention. He stayed the night at our house before his convention started, the first time they'd seen each other since middle school!

Before: Ruling the school in 8th grade.

After: Handsome professionals 25 years later

It was fun to hear them talk about middle school--which kids were still around, who married whom, what teachers they liked, and what they remembered about each others' families. Apparently Bryce's older sister, Kim, made a strong impression on Patrick--one day she answered the door wearing only a towel! And that's how Kim became Patrick's first crush.

Our kids really enjoyed Patrick's company and competed for his attention, but he didn't seem to mind. He said they reminded him of his nieces and nephews.

It was great to have him over! He's a really nice guy and I can see why he and Bryce were--and are--friends.