Funny Stories

Background: On Wednesday nights both Bryce and I go to Mutual, leaving Mary in charge of the twins for an hour and a half. Some times they get along perfectly, and other times one of the three will report that things went horribly. Mostly things like Mary pretended to be "The Shade" and scared the boys to death. But they usually have a fine time together.

So last night Cameron asked if we were going to Mutual and who was watching them. I told him that Mary was in charge.

In his serious way he looked at the ceiling and said:

Forgive me, God, but I hate my sister. Would you please take her back to @#!*% where she came from.

Then he looked at me and asked, "Can I have some cheese?"

I'm sorry, but it was the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard. I called Bryce and he almost drove off the road he was laughing so hard.

Only Cameron. Boy, is he a funny little fellow.

This next story happened this morning.

Bryce dropped Tyce off at school instead of seminary, because Tyce needed to talk to a teacher. He was wearing shorts, a hoodie, and socks pulled up to his knees. Bryce was a little suspicious but did drop him off at the appointed place. Tyce walked in to the building.

To get back on the main road Bryce drove around the building, and who did he see walking straight out the other side? A kid wearing shorts, a hoodie, and socks pulled up to his knees.

Well Bryce knew he'd caught Tyce in a lie, so he drove real slow and honked the horn.

The kid looked up.

But it wasn't Tyce!

If there was any way to unhonk a horn I know Bryce would've done it.

I'm sure this kid was thinking, "Yeah, good morning to you too, random white dude."

Oh, I'm sure Bryce just wanted to disappear. If it were me I'd have pretended to wave to some imaginary person behind him.

But thank goodness that it wasn't Tyce, or this would have been the worst 5-day weekend in the history of school vacations.

Last Week

1. Tyce lost his phone, as in it was stolen from his football locker. There was much weeping, wailing, threatening, and pleading for the thief to return it. Thankfully, the next day the phone was found by a friend.

And there was much rejoicing.


2. The twins picked out Halloween costumes and would love to wear them every day for the rest of their lives. But we locked them in the treat closet so they won't be ruined before the big day--the first big day being their class party this Thursday.

3. We attended Tyce's first choir concert at Basic. In case you're confused, he switched from band to choir.

It's a nice big choir. He's behind one of the microphones.

This is a cross section of the tenors.

3. The boys played with friends.

Dancing with the lovely Emily.

 4. It was a good week.

Me, in the Driver's Seat

This morning my life was like Pole Position, the only video game I am/was/will be any good at.

I rounded corners. I dodged crashing cars. I even avoided skidding into the Atari sign.

Except that in real life, the corners were the transitions between getting dressed, eating breakfast, taking meds, and brushing teeth.

The crashing cars were the kids and their scuffles. These were minor.

The Atari sign was the big blow out I'd braced for that, thankfully, I avoided by using humor and vague threats.

And we even made it to school with one minute to spare.

Like Danica Patrick, I do believe I made the qualifying round.

But, boy, was it close.

P.S. If you do a google image search for "pole position" you also get pictoral advice on how to be a better . . . uh . . . dancer.


*****

Saturday morning I took a van-ful of youth to the Best of Especially for Youth. It was so awesome. The fact that teenagers will get up at 8 a.m. to hear church speakers is amazing. Those who did were richly blessed; I know I was. Thank heaven for dynamic speakers who love the gospel, and for young people who listen.

While I was gone Bryce took the twins to a community yard sale in Calico Ridge. At one house Cameron amused the African American family by asking if the black Santa on the table was made of chocolate. I think Bryce was so embarrassed that he felt like he needed to buy it. The boys came back with the black Santa, a lavender Barbie horse, sunglasses, a skater hat with a fleur de leis that Harrison believes is a Scout hat, and two real firefighter helmets that say "Jonesy" and "W. Jones". What are the odds of that!!?? And get this, the helmets were given to the boys for free. I'm telling you, they are little charmers! You can tell that the helmets had really been used; the boys probably got smoke smudges on every wall and carpet in the house. (But I haven't really noticed.) They wore them all weekend--before, after, and almost during their baths.

At church we heard from the Adaoag kids; the brother who just returned from a mission and the sister who is leaving for hers to Houston, Texas, Spanish-speaking. She will be wonderful, or should I say, "excellente." I loved our Laurels class, and then that afternoon Bryce and I went to visit a sweet family in the ward. That night we had family scripture study, which we have been lax on every day but Monday for FHE. It was great and makes me want to keep it up.

It was a good weekend.

And I think we're off to a good week.

Freshman Football

Imagine this menacing figure charging you on the field.

Basic's freshman football team is 6-1 so far this season, and yesterday Tyce helped secure a victory over Basic's rival, Foothill. Final score: 42-6. Go Wolves!

Tyce plays slot receiver. He carried the ball down the field and Bryce said that Tyce was really fast. In elementary school his friends nicknamed him "Speedy Midget" and while the second part is horribly out-of-date (not to mention un-PC) since he's grown a ton, the first part definitely still fits.

One thing I appreciate about Tyce is that he's a dedicated team player. The team has been practicing since June, and he has only missed practice for vacation or other obligations. With well over 60 kids on the team not every one gets playing time, and quite often Tyce has cheered the whole game from the sidelines. But far from grumbling, he's always had a great attitude and feels just as pumped when the team wins as if he'd made the winning plays himself.

So when you see this Basic Wolf, give a howl and a high five for his attitude, effort, and a job well done.

Young Women in Excellence

Last night we had a great program, put together by Simonetta with the help of Sister Laffoon. The program counts for one of her 10-hour projects, and she did a great job!

The theme was "Daughter of a King;" Skye and Jasmine sang a beautiful song by that same name.

Some girls did a talk on one of values, and they all brought things for the display tables--things like musical instruments, athletic equipment, family photos, favorite keepsakes.

We ended with remarks by the Bishop and by me, and I thought the whole evening was lovely. Simonetta told me she was nervous the whole time--getting people where they needed to be, making sure the CD player worked, making sure we didn't end too early or too late. That's what it's like to be in charge! But what better place for her to practice than the loving environment of parents and friends who love her.

Brooke, decorator extraordinaire, and Simonetta, the event planner.

Some of the leaders: Sister Stam (Libbie's mom), Libbie, Shela, and Cindy.

The rest of the leaders: Rachel, Aranne,and me.

Jackie played beautiful prelude music.

Hailey also helped with decorations.

Two cute Beehives: Makayla (brand-new!) and Jade.

Two more cuties: Keara and Chelsea.

The Bishop gave each girl a crown to remind her of her worth as a daughter of a king.

The girls brought so much great stuff we could have used another table.

Chelsea showed off the refreshments.

Our beautiful Young Women! In back: Simonetta, Tori, Brooke, Hailey, Skye, Jade, Keara; In the front: Chelsea, Jasmine, Makayla, and McKenna

Mystery Diagnosis

I'm taking Mary to the doctor today. I feel fairly confident that her frequent vomiting is due to migraines. I used my own experience and my internet research to validate my diagnosis. Maybe I should pay myself the $20 it'll cost me to talk to Dr. Levin today.

The two most prevalent types of migraine are migraine with aura (formerly referred to as classic migraine) and migraine without aura (formerly referred to as common migraine). 

As a child and young adult I suffered from the "common" kind. It seems that Mary has "classic" migraines, which means that she has visual disturbances preceding the headache; she reports almost blacking out, sometimes "whiting" out, sometimes having blind spots, and sometimes seeing wavy lines. These happen about 30 minutes prior to the onset of pain. For her they also always include vomiting, which is why she's been sent home by the school nurse several days this school year already.

I will let you know how it goes. I'd assume he'll send her to a neurologist . . . but we'll see.

"Hey...You Guys Need to Blog More"

Because I'm home from church today with an under-the-weather Cameron and I have nothing new to read.

Have you ever gotten a new journal and thought, "I am going to write in this all the time." And you do . . . for a while. And then you don't. And then you think it would be very lame to pick up the same journal with a 6-month (or 2-year) gap and have to start your entry with an apology: "Sorry it's been so long . . ."

Well guess what. I have plenty of pretty-book journals just like that. I'm just glad I started writing again.

And since your blog is your journal-of-sorts (right?) you should start writing again. Really, you should. For yourself.

(But also to entertain me.)

If you do write, I'm glad you share. I read every time you post. I am devoted that way. I will even "follow" you; I've heretofore been opposed to following blogs (for no logical reason) but I will do it. Starting today.

Or tomorrow.

Just kidding.

See this cartoon?

Apparently that applies to me today.

Actually, that's what facebook is for.

Pow pow zing!

Bryce and all the other kids are coming back from Utah today. They went to the BYU v. SDSU game without high hopes but the Cougars marched down the field to victory!

Cameron and I had fun swimming at the indoor pool, watching "Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole", going to the park, going to Chuck E. Cheese's (the thing he really wanted to do), riding the carousel at The District, eating good food, and listening to live music that night.

We must have overdone it because Cameron has a wicked cough and a pretty good head cold.

Now I need to clean up the house so I can pretend it was spotless the whole time the family was gone.

P.S. Robin and Rachel, I was really looking forward to hearing your talks today! Bummer for me.

Harrison's First Crush

Playing with moon sand eases the pain of the lonely heart.

One night Harrison was very chatty as he got ready for bed.

He said, "Mom, there's a girl with red hair in Miss Penrod's class. Have you seen her? She looks familiar."

I replied, "No, I don't know that girl. Do you?"

"No," he said. "I don't even know her name."

Then he blurted out, "I'm in love with the little red-haired girl!"

"I see her at Lively Letters. But I think if I talked to her she would be shy to me." He sighed. "I can't believe I'm in love with that girl!" he half-shouted, half-cried.

"I guess I'm going to have to tell Emily that I can't marry her now," he concluded.

We talked. I dispensed motherly advice. He revealed his dilemma about his crush, which reminded me of this monlogue from "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown":

There's that cute little red-headed girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she would do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her?...She'd probably laugh right in my face...it's hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There's an empty place next to her on the bench. There's no reason why I couldn't just go over and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! (he puts his lunchbag over his head.) ...Lunchtime is among the worst times of the day for me. If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. But, if she isn't looking at me, then maybe I could take it off quickly and she'd never notice it. On the other hand...I can't tell if she's looking, until I take it off! Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here. (he removes his sack) Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me? Oh well, another lunch hour over with...only 2,863 to go.


Poor Harrison.
 
One day he's going to look back on this and be mortified that I shared this story.

Holding Back the Tsunami

Today is not the best day. And I have a feeling it's going to get less-good as the day wears on for two reasons. Ugh. I don't want to talk about it.

(Word to the wise: follow the rules and you won't have to suffer the negative consequences. Hello.)

I keep writing and deleting, writing and deleting because although I said I don't want to talk about it, it's the only thing on my mind.

I need to fill up on the positive or I will be tsunami'd by the negative.

So here I am, brainstorming about some good things:

1. I listened to nearly all of every session of General Conference and felt inspired and uplifted.

2. Bryce made breakfast on Saturday and Sunday and it was delish.

3. Cameron and Harrison got ready for school today happily and totally on time.

4. I got hugs from the twins for buying Cinnamon Life cereal.

5. I have made my bed for 21 consecutive days now.

6. It's finally cooled down enough to feel like October, and as an added treat, it's raining.

7. Walking and talking with Carmen three mornings a week fulfills my need for physical exercise and friendship. (I love you, Chiquita.)

8. We had a great discussion at book club on "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortimer. Looking forward to reading "The Help" next.

9. I hung a shelf in the laundry room (with some help from Bryce--well, in the end he did it all, now that I think about it.). But I bought it and put it together and marked the wall and drilled the pilot holes. And now I have the clothes-hanging rack of my dreams.

10. I think I might be a pirate for Halloween. Perhaps I will take up swearing.

(Speaking of that, I have asked the kids not to say "Oh my gosh" because it sounds too much like "OMG." Harrison confirmed, "But you can say 'Oh my taco' or 'Oh my heck.;" Cameron chimed in, "Yeah, or 'Oh my @#!*% ,' right, Mom?"

I have so many of the big things to be thankful for: my health, a great family (including extended), wonderful friends, my creative outlets in cooking and writing, my faith, and an awesome husband who loves me for who I am and encourages me to be better.

I know I am blessed and that there are positive things all around, every day.

I'm taking deep breaths.

And I really do feel better--I will pray for the strength to make it last.