The Kids at Stake Conference

I don't like to dwell on the negative but I have to say that church this weekend was terrible.

I know the meeting was good because I could kind of hear it but I didn't get much out of it.

Mary refused to come because instead of actually getting ready to go, she decided to color in her room. And then when it came down to the wire and we were loading ourselves into the car, she insisted that she HAD to eat breakfast and do her hair. So I know it sounds mean but we left her--but not to punish her. She has done this before and I know it is a control issue but it really does make me angry.

So we didn't start off on the best foot.

Then Harrison pushed his boundaries with Bryce, like he does every weekend, even going so far as to make a huge mess in the living room. Bryce said calmly, "Okay, clean it up." And Harrison asked, "Did you notice I poured water on the rug?" He wanted to make sure his hard work had not gone unnoticed.

At church he was no different; kicking the chair, exiting the row and wandering. They made it about 5 minutes before going to time-out in a classroom, and then eventually home when things didn't get better. So that left me with two.

Cameron is still the loudest child in church--even in stake conference. He sat on Tyce's lap, and Tyce kept biting his ear. Cam liked it and said, "Do it harder," but as loud as you can imagine without yelling. I told Tyce to stop but he developed selective deafness and couldn't hear me. Finally he bit Cam's ear too hard and the whole chapel heard, "OW."

During the congregational hymn Cameron stood on a chair between Tyce and me, and "sang" along, which was funny and cute. But when he noticed that Tyce and I were giggling he sang even louder . . . which was not funny or cute. After we'd successfuly shushed him, the song was over. Everyone sat down and Cameron said," That guy in front of us is BALD. Well, at least to me he is."

I wanted to die. What do I say to that? "He's not bald . . . okay, you're right. He is."

Tyce took Cameron on a much-needed walk. Alone and uninterrupted, I listened to two really great speakers.

When the boys came back Cam said, "Tyce let me jump off a stack of chairs onto a table!"

I gave Tyce my raised eyebrow, and he mimed that "Wha? I don't know what he's talking about," sign.

Then there was more ear-biting.

And I took Cameron out myself. But he yelled, "I want Tyce! I want to jump off the chairs!"

After a drink at the water fountain and a stroll around the building, he wanted to sit on the stage. So I let him sit on the edge. But he wanted to move farther this way, and back that way, and stand up, and go down the stairs. But I said, over and over, "You can sit right here with your arms folded or get down." Finally he got frustrated and shouted, "Why do we always have to follow your rules?"

Luckily, by then it was time for the closing hymn.

And Cameron wanted to do headstands during the closing prayer.

Someone reached over and patted my arm. "This too shall pass," she said.

It was one of the longest 2-hour meetings of my life.