Conversations

Last night I settled down in the boys' room to tell bedtime stories.

Mom: I'm going to tell you a story tonight, but no interrupting. Cameron, did you hear that?

Cam: Yep.

Mom: Once there were two brave knights. They were the bravest in the land. One--

Cam: --one of them had a black sword and a dagger and a shield and it was me!

Mom: Cameron. Don't interrupt or I'll stop telling the story.

Cam: Ooops. Sorry.

Mom: And the black knight had a sword and a shield and a dagger and a black horse.

Cam: Don't forget that spiky ball called a mace!

Mom: {Silence}

Cam: Take it away, Mom!

Mom: {Silence, finger to lips}

Harrison: She said she wouldn't tell the story if you kept talking, Cam! You're fired!

Cam: From what?

Hare: From this story! Like that bad kitty guy [Edgar, from the Aristocats] got fired. He went away.

Cam: Because Madame told him to go away?

Hare: Yeah, so stop talking or I will tell Mom to fire you.

Cam: Okay.

Hare: Take it away, Mom.

***

Yesterday I went to the grocery store with Mary and the twins.

Mary: Why can't I just stay in the car?

Mom: Because for one, it's 104 degrees, and besides, I can't leave you in the car alone. The police will come and arrest me.

Mary: Humpf.

Mom: Come on, everyone!

We start walking towards the store. Mary takes an extra 30 seconds to put on her shoes.

Cam: You better hurry up, Mare! I'm not paying to get Mom out of jail when the police come to arrest her.

(Confidentially) But I do have some money, like quarters.

Mom: Thanks.

Cam: Actually . . . I need those for candy.