Wednesday, October 15, 2014


Just when you think you know what's up, things change. Here's the big one: Mary is done with public school. She was doing so incredibly well and then suddenly she crashed, overwhelmed by her anxiety and depression. Her misery level went through the roof. The crowds, the people, and the noise were just too much. Her once straight-As started to slip into Bs and Cs and she couldn't find the strength to catch up. The darkness closed in. We recognized this as the beginning of the end--one of the main reasons we didn't want her to go to public school in the first place.

I guess part of me viewed her success though in public school as evidence that she could live a "normal" life and have "normal" experiences. But if you know Mary you know that she is not your average girl. Why would I want her to live an average life? 

Albert Einstein said: 

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

My unease comes from the fact that I'm working a million hours lately for Clinique bonus time and I'm not ready for homeschool. I thought she'd at least make it through the semester. I don't have anything prepared. I am completely exhausted by my job and overwhelmed by my guilt that I'm not available and on top of things. Bryce reminded me that even if I were home people would be falling apart. Comforting thought or sad realization?

Anyway, you know how much we love our Mary. She's a fish who can't climb a tree but she can swim better than anyone else I know. Homeschool is the river she needs--and so we will find one.


Aranne and Dan said...

I am sorry to hear that Mary is struggling, but I can't tell you the comfort this brings me, especially today. I too struggle with my children and their different challenges and it is comforting to hear that we all go through them and that we can all still succeed we just need to be on the right path. I also understand your struggle as a parent in feeling like you aren't doing enough or the right thing.... totally have that feeling daily! I know our kids will make it SOMEHOW and I know we will to! Daily life is a challenge and sometimes it is behind closed doors and others don't always recognize it because we as moms do a great job of pulling our families together and making things look pretty. Hang in there and know I love and support you and think you are doing amazing with what you have and the challenges you have been dealt!

Mopsie said...

We're rooting for all of you. Wish I had something helpful to say. We love you and we pray for you.

Rebecca and Co. said...

Thanks, Aranne and Mom. :)