Monday, November 15, 2010

Trying to Figure it Out

Great weekend with the bro and his awesome family. I was sorry to see them go.

Mary's migraines (diagnosis confirmed by the neurologist) are still a problem. She is missing way too much school and in fact begged me to home school her. Part of me sees that as a viable option. When she's cooperative she is so pleasant and engaging. I can imagine her thriving working at her own pace. A huge draw for her is the lack of distraction here at home, as well as the flexibility for her to deal with her pain here rather than go to the nurse's office. On a good day I can see that working very well.

But on the other hand I can foresee disaster. If she throws a fit about vacuuming the living room because she says I'm bullying her in to it, how is she going to accept re-doing a math paper or completing an assignment she doesn't want to do?????

I also struggle with the two philosophies of "everyone else deals with it--suck it up" and "have compassion on the individual." I do realize that she is different from other kids. Her description of the noise level at school--from kids whispering to the marker on the smart-board to the paper-rustling to the cacophony in the lunch room--really did make me see how miserable she is. Someone like me barely notices those things, but someone like Mary is tortured by the distraction. The neurologist said that he could handle changing up her medication but I think I may need to resume my hunt for a good psychiatrist (which I have yet to find here).

She says that she likes school as much as any kid. I don't think there's a person or teacher she's avoiding. She even told me she doesn't have anxiety about going but that the pain of headaches (which happen about 2-3 times a week) and the constant distractions are making it hard to enjoy it at all. It's really unfortunate because she has an amazing team of teachers this year who are really invested in the students and make learning as enriching as possible. But perhaps she just needs a break from the constant stimulation and noise . . . . I don't know.


Jenn said...

I understand your dilema. Brandon is having trouble at school also and gets distracted easily. Luckily he isn't having physical problems on top of it. I try to homeschool on Fridays and it is difficult to keep them on track. It is so easy to do other things instead. It would be easier having only one to deal with. There are a lot of books and websites to help get you started if you do decide to with it. Good luck. Love Jenn

Silver Strands said...

What a dilemna. Good luck with that - I'll be thinking of you. I am not cut out to homeschool my kids, even with how supportive the community has become ... I'll be interested to see if you go that route and how it flows for you.

Thinking of you Rebecca.

FoReVeR WeLcH said...

aww girl... i understand soo much! Noah has benn miserable since we moved which has now been one year and i fight every morning just to get him to school... i gave up and am enrolling him in Connections academy.. a home based computer school but you can go meet the other kids in your virtual classroom twice a week ( i think) Anyway he gets terrible headaches and i feel for him as i have migraines! Im thinking all around this program might make things a little better for him and me. He got pulled in the lottory as they were full.... So he gets to start semester!
Your family is in our prayers!!!!

Rebecca and Co. said...

Thanks for telling me about that, Lisa. I have heard of Connections Academy but haven't looked in to it yet. I didn't know Noah was having such a hard time--he and Mary sound like two peas in a pod.

Denalee, I don't know if I'm the homeschooling type either. In fact, I would say I'm not but I'll do it if I need to.

Jenn, thanks for your support! :)

brooklyn said...

Good luck deciding! Perhaps it might help knowing that you can try it for the rest of the year and if it doesn't work out she can go back.

PS. The girls were DELIGHTED and I got a good laugh to find that--after all the talk of fairy dust being thought of as bomb powder at security in the airport--Mary still sneaked a bag of it into Cambria's bags. And apparently, airport security has a fairy dust detector that can distinguish it from gun powder because it was fine. :-) She is a magical girl for sure.