My Birthday

It was April 5th and let me say that it was a lot better than last year, when I was in a "don't look at me" kind of mood. Do you remember that? I pretty much hope you don't. This time my birthday was great and I feel pretty awesome for 29. (Plus 10.)

That's me.

Highlights of my day included spending the morning with Bryce (though we were both sick--super lame), getting pedicures with Mary, having our family party, getting tons of nice messages and wishes from loved ones, and going to Red Robin with my girl friends. I felt happy and loved the whole day.

Mary getting pretty next to me.

The family decorated for me!

My treat to myself: cheesecake with sliced strawberries.

I really do feel blessed to be alive another year, especially now that I am taking the reins on living a healthier life. My outlook is brighter and I feel physically more energized. It is also nice to have something I can control when much of my life is in chaos. At one point I kind of tried to control cleaning the house but it was not as rewarding as this.

I have awesome friends and a super loving extended family. My husband is my rock and my best friend--I don't think there's anything he wouldn't do for me. I know that God blessed me with a good man. My kids have brought me the highest joys I have ever known, and they humble me as I try to understand how to deal with their issues. And Lord knows, I love them with all my heart.

I used to to think I had the power to make things happen but I now know that I only have a small, minor ability to change anyone but myself. I used to think it was totally up to me to ensure that my kids "turned out" a certain way, that it reflected on me if they did or didn't. They can do, say, and create things that leave me gobsmacked--both positive and negative--that have nothing to do with me. Sometimes I'd like to take credit for their talents and good deeds, but then I'd have to take ownership for the flip side, too. I'm still coming to terms with that--but I guess one benefit of age is experience and wisdom. That's a gift Life gives to me every birthday I'm still here.